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post #16 of 108 (permalink) Old 05-18-2017, 10:13 PM
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Re: No contact rule questions

"I love you". Not like I did, but in a different way. It's an I love the way you pining for me strokes my ego. I love the way you pining for me makes me feel better than you, and I love the security I feel when I see you or hear from you and know you're still available if I need you. I love the fact that I can treat you like ****, and like a puppy, you just keep coming back for more.

Is this the kind of love you're wanting?

If not, discover live with a new woman.

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post #17 of 108 (permalink) Old 05-19-2017, 06:24 AM
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Re: No contact rule questions

Ex girlfriend I get that. You like her, I get that.

Enough puppy love. Go for the Grown Pooches pouches.

You must progress. Yes, move forward.....more.

You went from wife...W... to former girlfriend...X.

That leaves two more letters, two more babes Y, Z.. before the well runs dry in Missouri, Mr. Mo.

Two more curvy sweet ladies that await your loving and kind personal brand of persona.

They are out there. I guarantee it. When you find one, present your dependent self as an Independent Contract-her.

No more Mr. Nice Guy. The last one's ate your lunch, spit out your manhood, whatever was left of it. Uh, huh!

Be tough skinned but be happy and fair minded.

Hold on! Look out the window...look up. Y,Z are circling your prairie Adobe Abode, they are scoping you out!

Their tail feathers are moist.

This....This is the nub of the stick that pokes me in the eye when the light of day energizes my optic nerve....SunCMars.... The Allegory of the Cave--> On this, I did a '180' and stepped out.

The Lion in Winter. Invictus..By Will, Shall... Saved from harm by my friends.
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post #18 of 108 (permalink) Old 05-19-2017, 06:38 AM
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Re: No contact rule questions

So she dumps you, and keeps you hanging on a string for a year, hangs out when she wants to, talks about how sexy other men are to you and you allow this?

Why would you keep going back to all this drama? Aren't you too old for this crap?
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post #19 of 108 (permalink) Old 05-19-2017, 06:45 AM
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Re: No contact rule questions

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Originally Posted by LostinMO View Post
All I can think about is her and how to handle this. Not all happy thoughts either. Sex was awesome. Then health issues and a loss of desire after a miscarriage caused the sex to stop. She promised it would go back to the way it was but it never did. I stayed with her even though we didn't have sex for the last year+ of the relationship. A lot of guys wouldn't do that.

That's because most men refuse to be welcome mats and eagerly accept the meager crumbs their unloving spouses choose to toss to them when they're feeling generous.

She's been gone for a year. I can't believe that YOU actually believe she's not seeing anyone. Sheesh.

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Now, if I call or text, she leaves me hanging and sometimes doesn't reply at all...UNLESS she wants something. Says she doesn't get a good signal, which she doesn't but if she wants something she gets a good signal and finds a way.
What a surprise, - she's a user. Nice guys like you - who are willing to be floor-mats for women to walk all over - never win.

Never.

You're far too needy and willing to do anything to get her back and she KNOWS it. Women don't respect desperate, needy men they can order around and take advantage of and she doesn't respect you. But that's your fault, not hers.

If you're going to fold like a house of cards every time she so much as breathes in your general direction, then she'll continue taking full advantage of your neediness.

I have the feeling you're only considering doing this because you want to elicit some kind of response from her. Yet just another needy,, desperate ploy on your part to kiss up to her and hope she comes back to you.

Find your spine and man the hell up.
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post #20 of 108 (permalink) Old 05-19-2017, 08:54 AM Thread Starter
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Re: No contact rule questions

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Originally Posted by frusdil View Post
So she dumps you, and keeps you hanging on a string for a year, hangs out when she wants to, talks about how sexy other men are to you and you allow this?

Why would you keep going back to all this drama? Aren't you too old for this crap?
It was the first time when she mentioned it a few days ago.
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post #21 of 108 (permalink) Old 05-19-2017, 09:02 AM Thread Starter
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Re: No contact rule questions

Man the hell up...so nice guys aren't men? Only *******s are real men?

With that said, I am ending whatever this is. Just have not decided how exactly. She still has to get her stuff out of here.

Thanks all. I guess I am just stupid when it comes to this stuff. Stupid and blind.
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post #22 of 108 (permalink) Old 05-19-2017, 09:03 AM Thread Starter
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Re: No contact rule questions

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Is this the kind of love you're wanting?
No.
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post #23 of 108 (permalink) Old 05-19-2017, 09:51 AM
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Re: No contact rule questions

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I guess I am just stupid when it comes to this stuff. Stupid and blind.
No, you're not stupid. You're just a nice guy who doesn't understand why others don't reciprocate your feelings. When they don't it's time to cut bait. You don't have to be a prick about it. (unless they are dense) You just need to detach when their goals aren't the same as yours.

Have you even read NMMNG?

"In any moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing, the next best thing is the wrong thing, and the worst thing you can do is nothing." T.R.


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post #24 of 108 (permalink) Old 05-19-2017, 09:51 AM
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Re: No contact rule questions

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Man the hell up...so nice guys aren't men? Only *******s are real men?
Real men are nice guys except when it is necessary to be an *******. As one of my friends told me "you aren't being an *******, when you are telling the truth." Yes, there is tact and all of that, but at the end of the day waiting a year while she processed her feelings, dates other men and comes and goes as she pleases doesn't make you a "nice guy" it makes you look weak.


"Nice guy" should really be changed to "Doormat guy" in certain contexts. You can be a nice guy, but not accept being walked on. You can be a nice guy and not accept crumbs of emotional support. You can be there for her during her time of need, but set strong boundaries of what you will accept or not. Controlling your life and how you are treated doesn't make you not a nice guy, nor does it make you an ******* for putting yourself first.
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post #25 of 108 (permalink) Old 05-19-2017, 09:53 AM Thread Starter
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Re: No contact rule questions

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No, you're not stupid. You're just a nice guy who doesn't get why others don't reciprocate your feelings. When they don't it's time to cut bait. You don't have to be a prick about it. (unless they are dense)

Have you even read NMMNG?
No, I have not read it. May look into it. Thanks.

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post #26 of 108 (permalink) Old 05-19-2017, 09:55 AM Thread Starter
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Re: No contact rule questions

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Real men are nice guys except when it is necessary to be an *******. As one of my friends told me "you aren't being an *******, when you are telling the truth." Yes, there is tact and all of that, but at the end of the day waiting a year while she processed her feelings, dates other men and comes and goes as she pleases doesn't make you a "nice guy" it makes you look weak.


"Nice guy" should really be changed to "Doormat guy."
I am sure there has been no dating.
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post #27 of 108 (permalink) Old 05-19-2017, 09:57 AM
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Re: No contact rule questions

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No, I have not read it. May look into it. Thanks.
Here is the link I gave you in an earlier post... "NMMNG" Browse it and tell us what you think...

Best

"In any moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing, the next best thing is the wrong thing, and the worst thing you can do is nothing." T.R.


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post #28 of 108 (permalink) Old 05-19-2017, 10:05 AM
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Re: No contact rule questions

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I am sure there has been no dating.
She's telling you she finds other men attractive, no sex for a year, wants to stay friends, barely gives you emotional support, broke up with you and you point out she isn't dating. Okay, I did get that wrong, the rest of what I said still stands.

Well, this explains why you think being an ******* is what people mean when we say "man up." Standing up for yourself is not being an *******.

So, why aren't you married if you've been together 4 years?
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post #29 of 108 (permalink) Old 05-19-2017, 10:27 AM Thread Starter
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Re: No contact rule questions

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She's telling you she finds other men attractive, no sex for a year, wants to stay friends, barely gives you emotional support, broke up with you and you point out she isn't dating. Okay, I did get that wrong, the rest of what I said still stands.

Well, this explains why you think being an ******* is what people mean when we say "man up." Standing up for yourself is not being an *******.

So, why aren't you married if you've been together 4 years?
I was in no rush to get married. Just recently got divorced before we met. She is someone that I could have married. It was just too soon to hop into it right away. And then things started to change after the miscarriage.
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post #30 of 108 (permalink) Old 05-19-2017, 10:36 AM Thread Starter
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Re: No contact rule questions

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Here is the link I gave you in an earlier post... "NMMNG" Browse it and tell us what you think...

Best
That will take some time to read. I will get to it when I get a chance. Thanks.
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