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post #61 of 108 (permalink) Old 05-22-2017, 05:31 PM Thread Starter
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Re: No contact rule questions

It's been just over 24 hours. When do I start to feel better?

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post #62 of 108 (permalink) Old 05-22-2017, 05:52 PM
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Re: No contact rule questions

It may be awhile before you start feeling better.

Stay so busy you don't have time to think of her.
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post #63 of 108 (permalink) Old 05-22-2017, 06:02 PM
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Re: No contact rule questions

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It's been just over 24 hours. When do I start to feel better?
That's not happening tomorrow or a least for a while. It'll go faster if you fill that time with other things. Try something that you use to love or something new, something you always wanted to do. Are you adverse to dating again?

"In any moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing, the next best thing is the wrong thing, and the worst thing you can do is nothing." T.R.


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post #64 of 108 (permalink) Old 05-22-2017, 06:12 PM
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Re: No contact rule questions

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It's hard, too, because of the grandchild I mentioned before. Last time I saw him he came to me and hugged me. He knows me as pawpaw. If I do this, I will not see him anymore either. Do you all realize how hard that is to do?
Yes, I do in fact know how hard this is. My ex and I have a nephew in common, who adored me.

You need to move on.
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post #65 of 108 (permalink) Old 05-22-2017, 06:13 PM
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Re: No contact rule questions

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So now...with her stuff still being here...I have to speak to her. She lives in another town now. So face to face? Phone call? Text or e-mail?
That's a bunch of b.s. excuse making. She's been gone a year? Put her crap on the porch and tell her to come and get it while you are away, or else you are calling St. Vinnie's to pick it up or putting it on the burn pile.
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post #66 of 108 (permalink) Old 05-22-2017, 06:19 PM
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Re: No contact rule questions

To be specific, text her that her crap is on the porch and come and get it while you are at work.
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post #67 of 108 (permalink) Old 05-22-2017, 06:43 PM
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Re: No contact rule questions

Dude, I swear to you that somebody better will come along. I absolutely guarantee it.
Two years ago, if anybody told me that I would be having the hottest sex of my life, and enjoying spending time with somebody who actually enjoyed the same activities as me? I would have immediately dismissed them.

But, it's two years later and I am having the hottest sex of my life (I will be 56 next month!) and my gf likes the same activities that I do.

When you let your ex go, the new person can arrive.
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post #68 of 108 (permalink) Old 05-22-2017, 07:04 PM Thread Starter
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Re: No contact rule questions

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Dude, I swear to you that somebody better will come along. I absolutely guarantee it.
Two years ago, if anybody told me that I would be having the hottest sex of my life, and enjoying spending time with somebody who actually enjoyed the same activities as me? I would have immediately dismissed them.

But, it's two years later and I am having the hottest sex of my life (I will be 56 next month!) and my gf likes the same activities that I do.

When you let your ex go, the new person can arrive.
I hear what you are saying but this girl was all that to me. Before the changes. I suppose someone may come along. But it is hard to imagine she will be better than what we had at one time.
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post #69 of 108 (permalink) Old 05-22-2017, 07:06 PM Thread Starter
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Re: No contact rule questions

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That's not happening tomorrow or a least for a while. It'll go faster if you fill that time with other things. Try something that you use to love or something new, something you always wanted to do. Are you adverse to dating again?
No not at all. Have gone out on a few dates, friends wise. I really don't have any prospects right now.

I kept one picture of us up. It was our first pic together when we were just friends. I thought that was acceptable. Anyway, today I took it down. Small step, I know.
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post #70 of 108 (permalink) Old 05-22-2017, 08:10 PM
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Re: No contact rule questions

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I hear what you are saying but this girl was all that to me. Before the changes. I suppose someone may come along. But it is hard to imagine she will be better than what we had at one time.
She'll be better because she won't use you.

Keep looking.

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post #71 of 108 (permalink) Old 05-22-2017, 08:16 PM Thread Starter
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Re: No contact rule questions

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She'll be better because she won't use you.

Keep looking.
What I am saying is, she did not use me until after she left. She was in love with me. Treated me like a king.
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post #72 of 108 (permalink) Old 05-22-2017, 08:27 PM
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Re: No contact rule questions

And why did she leave?
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post #73 of 108 (permalink) Old 05-22-2017, 09:35 PM Thread Starter
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Re: No contact rule questions

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And why did she leave?
It all started after the miscarriage. The sex stopped. I was understanding and willing to wait. She said things would go back to normal after a surgery or two that she had to have. She is in chronic pain. Things didn't go back to normal.. There was more bickering. We were less happy. After a year of no sex, we had a big fight. She wrote me a note saying she thought she should leave but that we should remain close. She didn't even talk to me first. I didn't want her to leave. I was very frustrated though. I feel that she was looking for a way out and the big fight gave her that. But she said she had been thinking about it before that.

She had fibromyalgia so it hurt to even be touched, so I could not even snuggle up with her. A hug was pretty much it. And still yet I would have stayed with her and waited for things to get better. She really was my best friend. So it was mostly hormones? Part of the aggravation, for both of us, was that she had a couple of little dogs. I like dogs, don't get me wrong. But one was handicapped and he was a miserable little cuss. He'd be in her lap all the time. If I tried to give her a hug, he'd snarl and growl at me like he was going to bite me. Now...if it was the other way around, that would not happen more than once if it was my dog doing that to her. She'd put pee pads down in the kitchen. He'd piss on the carpet and I would step right in it in the mornings, more than once. And she'd go watch her grandson every day but she couldn't take the dog with her because she was afraid he'd bite the grandson. So I was stuck with him. Piss and **** in the floor, most of the time missing the pee pads. Sex had stopped. More and more frustration build up. One BIG fight.

I was aggravated and frustrated and she didn't seem to care anymore. It all just fell apart. What should have mattered more was that I treated her family good. I loved her grandson like he was my own. I treated her good. There you have it. Hormones and dogs.
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post #74 of 108 (permalink) Old 05-22-2017, 09:38 PM Thread Starter
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Re: No contact rule questions

And I remember shortly after we became a couple...she said she would wind up pushing me away. And that is exactly what happened. Even after she told me that she truly believed that we were soul mates and that we were made for eachother. And that she would never leave. Yet, here we are.
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post #75 of 108 (permalink) Old 05-22-2017, 09:55 PM
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Re: No contact rule questions

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I hear what you are saying but this girl was all that to me. Before the changes. I suppose someone may come along. But it is hard to imagine she will be better than what we had at one time.
Only hard to imagine NOW. Will be hard to imagine how you put up with her crap for so long when you're out of it and with a decent wonan
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