Re: No contact rule questions
When I was going to therapy, the one thing my IC kept pushing me to do was to get out of the house and hang out with other women. She said that my outlook was frighteningly myopic because I chose to be alone all the time, have no friends, experience no new things, basically have no fun. No wonder I wasn't getting better.
So as much as I didn't want to, I called up old friends and went to dinner with them, went to an art show or something, signed up for an event. GOT OUT OF THE HOUSE.
I can't even begin to describe to you how much of a difference it made in my life. To speak to other people. To be around other people who were glad to see me. To be involved in things, no matter how small, from which I got a good feeling or pride in myself.
IMO, the REASON you are still here, a YEAR later, wringing your hands over losing this woman (and her grandchild!) is that you frankly have nothing else going on in your life. Of course she's all you think about. She's all you (think you) have.
And fwiw, I'm an introvert too. But there's a difference between a healthy introvert and someone who chooses to have no friends and can't move on from a woman who left him a year ago.
Get out of your house. Join a club for some thing you're passionate about, anything. Talk to people. THAT is what's going to help you move on and find happiness.
btw, friends don't just magically appear. People don't come to knock on your door and say 'can we be friends?' You have to actively put yourself out in public, smile at people, talk to people, get involved with people.