Would like a man's opinion. - Talk About Marriage
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post #1 of 23 (permalink) Old 05-18-2017, 05:29 PM Thread Starter
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Would like a man's opinion.

Is it normal for my husband to joke about ****ing or messing with another woman to his buddies? He said he would never act on any of it and was just messing around with the guys, that it was never meant for me to hear. but he still hurt my feelings pretty bad to hear him say the things he said. I haven't said much to him about it just shrugged my shoulders and kept going but everyday it's on my mind it happened a couple a weeks ago. I want to know if this truly is normal guy talk?

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post #2 of 23 (permalink) Old 05-18-2017, 05:38 PM
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Re: Would like a man's opinion.

I need context. Some of my friends do joke like that and all it is just joking. I would talk to him about it. Frank and honest.
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post #3 of 23 (permalink) Old 05-18-2017, 05:40 PM
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Re: Would like a man's opinion.

Normal guy talk where i come from!

A popular saying around my guy friends...

I'd crawl a mile on broken glass just to suck the **** that ****ed her last.

Just guy talk in my humble opinion.

None of my friends are going to act on it.
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post #4 of 23 (permalink) Old 05-18-2017, 05:42 PM
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Re: Would like a man's opinion.

Or maybe I just have raunchy friends.

Personaly I wouldn't pick this hill to die on.
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post #5 of 23 (permalink) Old 05-18-2017, 05:43 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Would like a man's opinion.

by context you mean what he actually said?
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post #6 of 23 (permalink) Old 05-18-2017, 05:45 PM
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Re: Would like a man's opinion.

It is pretty typical guy talk in many circles-all bluster with zero intent

But that doesn't mean it isn't horribly disrespectful to both the spouse and the subject of the lewd talk. I've not said anything like that in my adult life and I don't spend time with men who do.
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post #7 of 23 (permalink) Old 05-18-2017, 05:46 PM
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Re: Would like a man's opinion.

I don't like it, but it is normal guy talk. And it seems like a guy who doesn't join in will be derided, and likely thought of as gay by the other guys. So yes, I have even joined in sometimes.

However, in my case it bothers me more than it bothers my wife.
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post #8 of 23 (permalink) Old 05-18-2017, 05:47 PM
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Re: Would like a man's opinion.

Normal for some guys to talk like that with buddies. Stupid for a husband, for obvious reasons.
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post #9 of 23 (permalink) Old 05-18-2017, 05:53 PM Thread Starter
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Re: Would like a man's opinion.

we have been together 10 yrs(since I was 16) and I have never heard him talk this way not even when me and him got together he was very respectful. I was the one who had to initiate things happening. so I just feel weird. when we are trying to have a conversation my mind just heard him saying it over and over. like I don't know him anymore. our relationship isn't or wasn't horrible. I just did not want to over react if this indeed normal. I know sometimes me and my girlfriends will say that guy is hot or looks good but i dont say sexual things. so I'm hurt and trying my hardest to keep it from being an argument.

He said that the new girl could "give him a raise", and something about he would let her be his helper.
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post #10 of 23 (permalink) Old 05-18-2017, 05:58 PM
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Re: Would like a man's opinion.

So I was talking to my wife about this thread, and told her a story about an incident like this at a managers meeting not long ago. And the guys then went on to start talking about their hunting trips, and how hunting gives them a hard on and they need to jump anything with a hole...

Now, I am certain none of them actually did, but what the heck is that about? Ugh.

They seem to just be dueling, I guess. Maybe to see who can out-gross the other. Last man standing is the macho man.

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post #11 of 23 (permalink) Old 05-18-2017, 05:59 PM
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Re: Would like a man's opinion.

Context means what was the situation surrounding the comment. If he was playing poker or watching a football game an actress, ad woman or someone in general was commented on and you overheard it or saw it in inadvertently let it go. Also the other type of context is how it was said. They were all joking and he said "I'd hit that" yep, fairly common for some guys.
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post #12 of 23 (permalink) Old 05-18-2017, 06:02 PM
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Re: Would like a man's opinion.

Just guy talk, maybe a little immature depending on the audience but not really abnormal with a group of guys

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post #13 of 23 (permalink) Old 05-18-2017, 06:06 PM
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Re: Would like a man's opinion.

Quote:
Originally Posted by 3forme View Post
we have been together 10 yrs(since I was 16) and I have never heard him talk this way not even when me and him got together he was very respectful. I was the one who had to initiate things happening. so I just feel weird. when we are trying to have a conversation my mind just heard him saying it over and over. like I don't know him anymore. our relationship isn't or wasn't horrible. I just did not want to over react if this indeed normal. I know sometimes me and my girlfriends will say that guy is hot or looks good but i dont say sexual things. so I'm hurt and trying my hardest to keep it from being an argument.

He said that the new girl could "give him a raise", and something about he would let her be his helper.
This is common enough talk when guys get together,pay no heed.But if you want to "retaliate" just laugh at them and say she wouldn't piss on any of you even if you were on fire.
Or better still,just say "Some men do,some men talk about it".Just ridiculing them will do the job without you getting upset.
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post #14 of 23 (permalink) Old 05-18-2017, 06:06 PM
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Re: Would like a man's opinion.

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I know sometimes me and my girlfriends will say that guy is hot or looks good but i dont say sexual things. so I'm hurt and trying my hardest to keep it from being an argument.
Yep and society, especially in America, has taught women to bottle up any sexual expression. A guy might say "I'd hit that" instead of saying she is "hot" or "looks good."
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post #15 of 23 (permalink) Old 05-18-2017, 06:11 PM
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Re: Would like a man's opinion.

I've alway though it kind of funny that when george clowny(lol) or brad pitts,tom seleck etc would come on the tv my wife would gush about them. But if i did it when diane lane came on she would be offended.

Both men and women do this no big deal.
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