Re: Can men tell me what happened here?
You are so wrong here. If you had children with this woman, then she couldn't possibly be crazy (according the poster you were responding to)
Uh, no...what I said was that she was mentally healthy enough for you to marry and have children with, but suddenly after you divorced she's "crazy?" And I also said that the mother of your children does not deserve to be labeled as "crazy" by you in public, unless she's a threat to herself and/or others, in which case, I'm certain you had her evaluated for the court, because you wouldn't want your children in custody of such a mentally disabled person, right?
I totally understand where you are coming from though. Many would say my ex was a saint, altruistic, vivacious, outgoing, personable and she was on the surface. But like you any time we were alone, no matter what I did was never good enough, I never made enough, I wasn't (pick whatever) enough. I was a failure not deserving of basic human decency. It wasn't always so, the change took a while but I still bought into for quite a few years. Was she crazy? I dunno, but a lot of people that knew us thought she had to be to do what she did.
"A lot of people" weren't in your marriage though. She was married to you and perfectly reasonable around others, but acted crazy around you, according to you. This may be true- but like I pointed out, psychologists see this phenomenon all of the time in couples who are unable to get along. When a woman is resentful and hurt by her spouse, her emotions are telling her to do whatever it takes to repel her spouse, thus the seemingly crazy behavior toward you. Instead of claiming the marriage ended because your ex is crazy, consider that the marriage ended because she couldn't control her emotions around you, for reasons that likely had to do with both of you. This is far more likely the case than that she is mentally "crazy," unless she has a medical diagnosis.