I met a man through online dating ... this was a great match.
We talked for a couple of weeks over text / telephone and then had a brief coffee date to meet, which went very well.... We progressed to a second date lunch date, which went very well ... We progressed to a third date, dinner this time, which went really wonderfully
The fourth date, which we had last week, was dinner at my place ... we had a really great evening.
We slept together that night, and I think he enjoyed the sex because we did it multiple times, and again multiple times in the morning. He stayed for most of the next day, and we talked a lot more, cuddled, kissed
he doesn't want to see me again.
I also feel a bit violated! It makes me feel almost ill
So basically, you had a series of dates, you invited him to your house, you had consensual sex with him repeatedly, he stayed the night and left in the morning.
You feel violated!?!?
You are veering dangerously into "if I regret it the next day it was rape" victimhood attention-seeking nonsense thinking.
You were horny. You were attracted to him (good looking, high status as a doctor) and you invited him into your home for the express purposes of having sex with him.
Unless you got yourself drunk you were consenting to everything.
It doesn't sound like you had made explicit your requirements around the relationship before you banged him. You didn't have any future dates planned, you didn't have any verbal agreements on exclusivity or explicit expectations of future behaviors discussed.
It sounds like you had some hopes in your head that you didn't actually discuss with him before you had sex. Which means you valued the certainty of getting laid, over the risk of having some discussion about relationship and future first, and him turning you down and you not getting to have sex with him.
So you had some fun dates with an attractive high status guy that ended in good sex, exactly as you wanted. I don't think you should be complaining too much. Next time maybe decide in your head what you really want before you have sex.
A specific tactical move for you next time would be to first have solid plans for something the following weekend (tickets to summer festival, theater etc.) when you invite the guy over for sex.
So you then get to sleep with the guy with the explicit knowledge that you're both expecting to hang out together again for another future date.