You've all made me feel better
Less rejected / defective.
I am still not clear in my head on the best time to have sex with someone new or how to weed out or guess someone is going to do this to me again. Maybe I need to have a think and work out what that stage is!
It's not that I want a relationship with every man, just the potential. If I like him enough to want to have sex, then it means there's potential for me. I understand men have a different view
I am quite soft / impulsive / gullible which doesn't help.
Don't overthink it.
You had sex with your husband in the hallway of a hotel the night you met. That worked out pretty well! You waited a month to have sex with this guy - it didn't work out. Goes to show there's no real formula for any of this.
Just have sex when you feel you want to have sex with someone, it's that simple. Sometimes it'll work out, sometimes it won't. Don't sweat it. Sex is obviously important to you, in terms of matching up with someone, so it's all part of the dating landscape.
At the end of the day, nobody escapes dating without being hurt. We've all been played by people (men and women alike), we've all been dumped or rejected, many have been cheated on, etc etc etc. You can't protect yourself from any of this, unfortunately. You can minimize the chances of it happening, to be sure, but that usually comes at a cost. In some cases, potentially losing out on 'good' matches.
When it comes to dating, there's no good, or right, way to do it. You like somebody, you go out with them. If you have fun, you do it again. If you want to progress to sex, progress to sex. If you don't, then don't.
I guess the only rule I can think of when it comes to dating is to not do anything if you feel pressure to do it, or if you think it's necessary, or "time". If it doesn't feel right, don't. If it does, then do it.