In actions though, he acted like he wanted a relationship. Like by being on a dating site and his profile saying he wanted to meet new friends and maybe more. Like telling me he thought he'd found the perfect girl. Like texting goodmorning every day and goodnight every night and many times throughout the day. Calling to see how my day went. Asking every question about me and my thoughts on stuff. Sharing intimate information and asking about mine. Bringing me flowers.
I can't explain this very easily, but if you were with me on that date, and saw how sweet it was and all the handholding and snuggling up you'd have thought the guy wanted something more than a one night stand.
I'm not stupid, I don't invent things in my head, I carefully monitor people's actions /words and all that and I think he behaved in a way that made me feel it was going somewhere and the feeling was mutual.
He had also already asked me on the next date before we had sex. He'd said "next time let's go..." and I said "you're already planning next time?" and he said "of course".
I have had a fair bit of sex and a fair few dates and this was probably the most surprised I have been to find someone wasn't interested in me. I thought the opposite. Not to say I haven't been played before - I have - but the guy didn't snuggle up to me for 14 hours, laughing and stroking my hair and telling me about his childhood.
I wanted to sleep with him if I was going to see him again, I didn't want to sleep with him if it was the last time I'd ever see him.
Que sera, I was wrong. I don't harbour the guy any ill will.
I honestly wasn't afraid of pushing him for commitment, from the way he was acting I felt that was being freely given to me. I didn't get any sense whatsoever from the guy that he was interested in anything but definitely dating me more. It felt like a given to me, and if I misread that then he has odd ways of communicating how he feels.
So it was a mix of you being hot for him and being DTF and hearing what you wanted to hear, and maybe him being misleading about his intentions to some greater or lesser extent.
Would you still have slept with him if he had said he wasn't ready for a commitment, or to be exclusive?
Would you be interested in sleeping with him again in a casual "we have good sexual chemistry, let's see each other every few weeks when we have the time and feel the urge" level of relationship?
Honestly, It is weird that he seemed serious about a relationship and then dumped you. If he's an attractive high status doctor in his early 40s and he has any social skills and game he can get laid easily.
You were a lot of work and time for a one night pump and dump. (Although you're gorgeous and worth it, of course!)
Much harder question for you, and I'm really not trying to be nasty with this: Any sense that he went over to your place serious about the relationship but then after sleeping over, anything that could have given him second thoughts in the morning? Scars, physical abnormalities? House cleanliness issues, hoarding, too many cats? Bad interactions with your kids or anyone else in the house? Hard push from you on locking him down for commitment in the morning?