Re: Making it work for the kids
Also, I should say she does do laundry and occasionally we tackle cleaning together. 6 kids I am sure you can imagine it is tough to keep it model home style though it is kept clean.
the Vegas trip was very hard for me, as a matter of fact when I dropped her off I literally got sick and puked after I left due to the feeling of her being so cold and bitter. I dropped her off at her friends house and once there she said put my bag there (pointed to the sidewalk) and was walking inside. I said can I have a hug and a kiss? she then said come here then when I went to her she was completely limp. She says that it did not happen that way but I know for a fact it did as it is burned into me. Also she was only worried about being there as she says she was the last one there and everyone was waiting on her. I cried quite a bit while she was gone because I couldn't believe how easy it seemed for her to just go. Also during her trip we spoke I think twice maybe only once and it was briefly and I would try to text her just very basic "I miss you, I love you, I hope you're having fun" but got little response.
She ignores how hurt I was by her going on that trip and leaving me at home with all 6 kids by myself. We go on trips together quite often but I would not leave her alone with all 6 to go on a vacation. If it was for work, I might not be as hurt but she went to have a vacation. Then the day she came home I had to hear about how tired she was because she took a redeye and couldn't sleep. So she wouldn't talk to me all day and wouldn't even interact all day, definitely zero affection.
So what I have done on a couple occasions is write her letters, unfortunately she does not read them, which is a shame because I pour my heart out into them, very similar to what I am doing here. Also bothersome that I constantly hear things like "well the girl I work with her husband don't this or that" I don't care about them this is our marriage. Most recently she told me how a girl she works with has sex with her husband while she is on her phone and lets him "do his thing" I am like are you telling me this, because this is what you want?
Thanks for the feedback everyone, I am reading it all and I am looking at all the books, and I have looked into counseling. I know her response will be "no time, or no money" which makes me mad as hell when she says those things about certain things because she gets her nails and hair done all the time while I have completely let myself go, also that she can go to Las Vegas but we don't have money for this or that..