So ... pills don't work? Really? They're an excuse for 'lazy' people?
Wonder how that philosophy would work for people with asthma, diabetes, high blood pressure, heart conditions, or cancer.
I don't even need to meet your husband, and I can tell you he is classic ADHD, based on your description of his work incident.
Was diagnosed in 95 as an adult after barely finishing high school, despite being very bright, and could never get through more than one semester of college. Was told that I was lazy and didn't apply myself. Got A's in subjects where the learning made sense to me. Got F's in the subjects that it didn't.
Although being somewhat impulsive, I never had the addiction piece that often goes hand in hand with the diagnosis.
I took the drugs as an adult. The difference was night and day. Can't possibly expect that to make sense to anyone that hasn't experienced the 'fog' of ADD.
Your husband should try the meds if they are prescribed. But he should be very open about whether or not they are actually helping his condition.
I no longer take the meds ... because lo and behold over the long term at high doses, they can cause prostate problems, and can affect libido. Both of which I contracted.
So, the meds do help the condition under the correct circumstances. Your husband should take as low a dose as possible that will still remediate his symptoms.
And for the record ... the condition is real, and I have never, ever, used it as an excuse for some personal shortcoming or failing.
I have had to drastically change how I perform my job as a result of no longer taking the meds. I would estimate that I am between 30% to 60% LESS productive and effective, off meds, than on.
And people close to me could always tell ...
I don't know whether it (ADD) exists or not. I do know that there are an awful lot of kids being put on drugs because their parents feel their behaviour is not normal or they're too hyper etc. It seems to be the blanket diagnosis these days. I would like to hope that it is a legitimate diagnosis for some because otherwise the medical field would be a total joke when it comes to this sort of situation.
Either way, I posed my question because I wanted to hear from people that have been diagnosed, are married to someone who is being treated or otherwise have an educated opinion because I don't know enough about it myself. No need to be defensive about whether it's a real problem or not or whether it can be treated with meds. Clearly there are several people on here that seem to feel it is and that's enough for me.
My concern is really whether anyone feels that medicating helped both the person afflicted and whether it helped their relationship as a result. As I've mentioned, I'm not big on medicating when there are alternate methods to deal with certain ailments. As much as I'd like for my partner to feel more clarity and the ability to concentrate etc. I don't want him to do it at the expense of his health or turning him into a mindless veggie due to a poor diagnosis or as the result of bad side effects. From what I briefly read these drugs all seem to be habit forming on some level as well.
In any event, I will pass along your comments to him and try and help to ensure that he's getting no more than what he NEEDS in terms of dosage. I'm sure he'd be quite upset by either of the side effects you experienced. I'm sure it was difficult for you to have been forced to choose between the benefits vs the side effects.
For the record, I meant no disrespect when I mentioned the whole lazy theory. That was more about my partner than a general comment. He's not exactly the most driven person and it's completely self admitted on his part.