This morning I'm leaving - Talk About Marriage
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post #1 of 37 (permalink) Old 05-22-2017, 06:57 AM Thread Starter
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This morning I'm leaving

Today is the day !
I have had enough, together for 5 yrs
Married 3 yrs..NO CHILDREN together
But all together we had 7 children me having 4..him having 3

The emotional abuse.
Verbal abuse.
Not having a job.
Not even attempting to try & help.
The marijuana is his life. We had just had a conversation about saving & the next week he calls me telling me. He will no longer smoke trash weed only the finest..😣
Which put us in the hole 400 that week.
Yes I smoke also, but it's not my life.
If we had to save I can stop or smoke less
He says his problems he has with me is I DONT RESPECT HIM. OR LISTEN TO HIM ENOUGH I roll my eyes when he is speaking & I wave him off litterraly.

He hasn't worked in any of the years when have been together.
When I'm home I wait on him hand & foot.
I cook
He eats & leaves the dish for me. To take from the room
I once tried to hand him his plate after I cooked cause he was standing in the kitchen.
He walked away after he saw me try & hand it to him. Sat in the living room & I had to bring it out..
He has everything he ever wanted.
Well at least I think.

I just cant do it anymore .
I FEEL like **** today

I feel sad that I have to do this



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post #2 of 37 (permalink) Old 05-22-2017, 07:11 AM
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Re: This morning I'm leaving

So, uhh, how's he gonna buy his buds without your income? Guess he'll have to get a job, huh?

Unemployed pot heads are the worst. You're abolutely right in leaving. And I'm saying that as someone who also indulges.

Follow the evidence where it leads and question everything.
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post #3 of 37 (permalink) Old 05-22-2017, 07:18 AM
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Re: This morning I'm leaving

Why did you feel like you have to put up with so much crap from this man. We teach people how to treat us and when you put up with crap, you get crap.

Was he likes this when you were dating or first married, or did he change or were you wearing rose colored glasses?

I have a agree that getting out of this relationship for now would be the best for you and your kids. The 400 dollars a week on pot would be enough alone to end it for me.

Which makes me ask what is a couple with 7 children doing smoking weed anyway? Is there not better things to be doing with your money and time. Perhaps is there maybe some addiction issues in this relationship as well?

I would recommend that you dump your husband, quit smoking weed and get some counselling to help work on yourself. I don't think a decent family man with a good job and good values is smoking 400 dollar worth of weed a week, nor do I think he's probably looking for a woman how will take people's crap and smokes weed herself but I have been known to be wrong.

Don't feel bad about leaving, do what's best for you and your children.




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post #4 of 37 (permalink) Old 05-22-2017, 07:33 AM Thread Starter
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Re: This morning I'm leaving

Quote:
Originally Posted by Daisy12 View Post
Why did you feel like you have to put up with so much crap from this man. We teach people how to treat us and when you put up with crap, you get crap.

Was he likes this when you were dating or first married, or did he change or were you wearing rose colored glasses?

I have a agree that getting out of this relationship for now would be the best for you and your kids. The 400 dollars a week on pot would be enough alone to end it for me.

Which makes me ask what is a couple with 7 children doing smoking weed anyway? Is there not better things to be doing with your money and time. Perhaps is there maybe some addiction issues in this relationship as well?

I would recommend that you dump your husband, quit smoking weed and get some counselling to help work on yourself. I don't think a decent family man with a good job and good values is smoking 400 dollar worth of weed a week, nor do I think he's probably looking for a woman how will take people's crap and smokes weed herself but I have been known to be wrong.

Don't feel bad about leaving, do what's best for you and your children.




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I have no idea why I put up with this..
Only 4 children lives with us..unfortunate that all 4 are mines.. so of course they have seen the most.
I smoke because it calms me..
I get nervous a lot.
I just do
Yes I plan to quit
I guess it keeps getting worse cause I allowed it.
I spoke with him last week & he told me he would never get a job..THAT WAS IT FOR ME!

HE THROWS it in my face that my children are not his.

Say we are holding him back.
He has said hurtful things to my children

Ive done this before & came back like a fool. trying to save this **** of a marriage

I guess it's because he is so smart.
Handsome .
& I know the potential he really had.

He is just the most selfish persons I have ever met.
He puts me down saying he looks better then me
I'm fat & stupid

He once told me anybody can use me..

I guess that was my sign & I just ignored it

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post #5 of 37 (permalink) Old 05-22-2017, 07:38 AM
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Cool Re: This morning I'm leaving

It's certainly not a failure because you didn't try, @DEMI6 !

I'd say that it's time to take one last, good long view of him from the rear-view mirror!

Congratulations in finally embracing your sanity!

"To love another person is to see the face of God!" - Jean Valjean from Les Miserables

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post #6 of 37 (permalink) Old 05-22-2017, 07:41 AM Thread Starter
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Re: This morning I'm leaving

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It's certainly not a failure because you didn't try, @DEMI6 !

I'd say that it's time to take one last, good long view of him from the rear-view mirror!

Congratulations in finally embracing your sanity!
This hurts so bad

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post #7 of 37 (permalink) Old 05-22-2017, 07:51 AM Thread Starter
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Re: This morning I'm leaving

I know I can't live like this ANYMORE & I deserve so much better

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post #8 of 37 (permalink) Old 05-22-2017, 08:58 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DEMI6 View Post
This hurts so bad

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I know that it does, Sweetheart!

But the reward is in finding that very special guy who will come to love and respect you for the woman and the lady who you truly are!

My prayers will always go with you!

"To love another person is to see the face of God!" - Jean Valjean from Les Miserables

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post #9 of 37 (permalink) Old 05-22-2017, 09:03 AM
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Re: This morning I'm leaving

OMG run! Because you deserve better and you're setting an example for your children to do the same thing.
How on earth did you marry someone who NEVER had a job while you were together? That is a giant red flag.
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post #10 of 37 (permalink) Old 05-22-2017, 09:07 AM
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Re: This morning I'm leaving

Quote:
Originally Posted by DEMI6 View Post
He hasn't worked in any of the years when have been together.
When I'm home I wait on him hand & foot.
I cook
He eats & leaves the dish for me. To take from the room
I once tried to hand him his plate after I cooked cause he was standing in the kitchen.
He walked away after he saw me try & hand it to him. Sat in the living room & I had to bring it out..
He has everything he ever wanted.
Absolutely NO reason for you to stay with such an *******. Even his kids aren't a good enough reason to stay. The sooner you stop enabling him, the sooner his kids will be able to move on with their lives to a better parent or family.

That said, a couple of suggestions. First, please lay off the weed, unless you're in a legal state. You have children to consider and legal issues will do them no good. Once they're grown and moved out, do whatever you want.

Second, why on earth would you (1) allow a man to live with you without working and (2) wait on him hand and foot if he isn't even contributing? Let's be honest - you're just as much to blame for this situation as he is. Fix this issue in yourself before you date another man.

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post #11 of 37 (permalink) Old 05-22-2017, 09:50 AM
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Unhappy Re: This morning I'm leaving

Quote:
Originally Posted by DEMI6 View Post
Today is the day !
I have had enough, together for 5 yrs
Married 3 yrs..NO CHILDREN together
But all together we had 7 children me having 4..him having 3

The emotional abuse.
Verbal abuse.
Not having a job.
Not even attempting to try & help.
The marijuana is his life. We had just had a conversation about saving & the next week he calls me telling me. He will no longer smoke trash weed only the finest..😣
Which put us in the hole 400 that week.
Yes I smoke also, but it's not my life.
If we had to save I can stop or smoke less
He says his problems he has with me is I DONT RESPECT HIM. OR LISTEN TO HIM ENOUGH I roll my eyes when he is speaking & I wave him off litterraly.

He hasn't worked in any of the years when have been together.
When I'm home I wait on him hand & foot.
I cook
He eats & leaves the dish for me. To take from the room
I once tried to hand him his plate after I cooked cause he was standing in the kitchen.
He walked away after he saw me try & hand it to him. Sat in the living room & I had to bring it out..
He has everything he ever wanted.
Well at least I think.

I just cant do it anymore .
I FEEL like **** today

I feel sad that I have to do this



Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-J320AZ using Tapatalk
You sure you're not married to The Dude from the Big Lebowski movie?

Seriously leave him, you'll be better off without him.
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post #12 of 37 (permalink) Old 05-22-2017, 09:57 AM
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Re: This morning I'm leaving

It might hurt now, but you'll be OK.

"If you deliberately plan on being less than you are capable of being, then I warn you that you'll be unhappy for the rest of your life."

~ Abraham Maslow
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post #13 of 37 (permalink) Old 05-22-2017, 01:22 PM Thread Starter
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Re: This morning I'm leaving

Quote:
Originally Posted by turnera View Post
Absolutely NO reason for you to stay with such an *******. Even his kids aren't a good enough reason to stay. The sooner you stop enabling him, the sooner his kids will be able to move on with their lives to a better parent or family.

That said, a couple of suggestions. First, please lay off the weed, unless you're in a legal state. You have children to consider and legal issues will do them no good. Once they're grown and moved out, do whatever you want.

Second, why on earth would you (1) allow a man to live with you without working and (2) wait on him hand and foot if he isn't even contributing? Let's be honest - you're just as much to blame for this situation as he is. Fix this issue in yourself before you date another man.
I agree 1,00000000000

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post #14 of 37 (permalink) Old 05-22-2017, 01:23 PM Thread Starter
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Re: This morning I'm leaving

Update I'm gone & safe

He has now called all family members saying his goodbyes & how he wants his funeral planned out.
He told me he is going to kill himself


What should I so?
I'm not going back

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post #15 of 37 (permalink) Old 05-22-2017, 01:32 PM
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Re: This morning I'm leaving

Quote:
Originally Posted by DEMI6 View Post
Update I'm gone & safe

He has now called all family members saying his goodbyes & how he wants his funeral planned out.
He told me he is going to kill himself


What should I so?
I'm not going back

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Ah, the good old manipulative suicide threat.....
Happens all the time with abusers.

Call 911 and send them to him..... once he sees the cops show up he'll either get the help he needs or stop trying to manipulate with suicide threats.

Under no condition should you contact him.
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