Hi Lilly. Thanks for coming by. My story in a nutshell:
We'd been married for some time. With two young'ins at home. She was..
... in (her) 30s if that makes a difference.
in (her) 'prime' as some might say?
Anyhow, I knew she had been to clubs before I met her, but knew it wasn't a big part of her life. As far as me, her future husband,
(I don't) really like the scene.
and what little clubbing she did,
I don't think she started going again...
...looking to 'find men. It's more about dancing / feeling happy /feeling desired.
Basically what (she) want(s) is this: to dance, have fun, flirt
But she didn't do it the way you did. She was sneaky about it. Never telling me she was going until she was literally stepping out the door (although I quickly figured it out when she'd start primping at a certain time on a Saturday night). Never telling me where she was going, never talking about where she'd been or what she did. Anything after "how was it?" quickly started to feel like an interrogation (never accusing me of it, just the way she answered (or not) any questions...I had to just stop asking. She was good).
Now, before everyone says, "yeah Realsy, but this is obviously different. Your wife is a slu..."loose woman" and this poor Christian girl just wants to dance".
Possibly true. But if someone suddenly came down from above and said they had security camera footage of every minute my wife was out with her wingwoman friend, I would say that there was a very good chance that the worst that my wife would be found to have done is to...
...dance, have fun, flirt
Now, before everyone says, "yeah Realsy, but this is obviously different. Your wife is a slu..."loose woman" and if you think she wasn't swapping fluids with multiple men every time, saliva MINIMUM, you're a fool."
Doesn't matter. When I was lying awake in bed babysitting my kids at 1:30 AM, it wasn't physical infidelity that was ripping at my gut. It was the thought of her...
...dance, have fun, flirt
This site has been quiet with the "clubbing, should she or shouldn't she?" threads for a while. But back when there were more "clubbing while married" defenders than there are now, a "how can you be so paranoid, little man, it's just dancing" argument could shut down debate. But it's NOT just dancing. It IS about the men, at least to a degree. You're flirting with and feeling sexual energy with strange men. Making a connection. And you would HARDLY be the first person to make a "drunken mistake".
Why would my wife be sneaky where you see it as, pretty much, 100% innocent? How can are two nearly IDENTICAL ACTIONS have two such different interpretations?
I don't know I'm just telling you how I felt. And I have a pretty good idea how your husband will be feeling when you're out after midnight, "dancing". And not just because my world is everyone's world so it must be fact. It's because your husband seems to feel the same way about it as I do. And he may not be as mentally unstable as me, but this exact issue is what brought me here to this and other forums many years later.
My wife pulled this bait and switch on me many years ago. And look where I am now.