I have no idea where to post this so please move it if this is the wrong place.
So my question is what constitutes flirting?
My history of flirtation is pretty much non existent. I don't know how to flirt, I am a fairly reserved, self-conscious person. When I was younger I found men intimidating and would barely look them in the eye. I have a gay male friend because he is non-threatening. If someone is flirting with me, I really do not pick up on it until someone points it out.
I am pathologically friendly. I find it hard to be rude. I laugh at peoples jokes and am quick to compliment others. I am like my mother, a people pleaser.
So....I recently was accused of flirting with my BIL and this is why both my SIL's hate me. (They are both in their 40's - not teenagers). I cannot for the life of me figure out where my behaviour crossed the line between friendly and flirting. The only thing I can think of is I would laugh at his lame jokes and I found him the easiest of family members to talk to :scratchhead:. When they first got together I told her that he was very good looking (but I didn't have the hots for him - I was trying to be complementary).
It has had more of an effect upon me than it probably really deserves. I am now very self-conscious that my over friendliness is misconstrued as flirtation. I have reverted back to being quiet in social settings particularly around men. I feel I give off a flirtation vibes without being aware of it. I also feel a little furious that I have been excluded from family gatherings on the back of it, which effects my husband and children. It seems like a huge over-reaction to nothing.
What do you make of it all?
So my question is what constitutes flirting?
My history of flirtation is pretty much non existent. I don't know how to flirt, I am a fairly reserved, self-conscious person. When I was younger I found men intimidating and would barely look them in the eye. I have a gay male friend because he is non-threatening. If someone is flirting with me, I really do not pick up on it until someone points it out.
I am pathologically friendly. I find it hard to be rude. I laugh at peoples jokes and am quick to compliment others. I am like my mother, a people pleaser.
So....I recently was accused of flirting with my BIL and this is why both my SIL's hate me. (They are both in their 40's - not teenagers). I cannot for the life of me figure out where my behaviour crossed the line between friendly and flirting. The only thing I can think of is I would laugh at his lame jokes and I found him the easiest of family members to talk to :scratchhead:. When they first got together I told her that he was very good looking (but I didn't have the hots for him - I was trying to be complementary).
It has had more of an effect upon me than it probably really deserves. I am now very self-conscious that my over friendliness is misconstrued as flirtation. I have reverted back to being quiet in social settings particularly around men. I feel I give off a flirtation vibes without being aware of it. I also feel a little furious that I have been excluded from family gatherings on the back of it, which effects my husband and children. It seems like a huge over-reaction to nothing.
What do you make of it all?