Talk About Marriage banner
Status
Not open for further replies.

Husband threatening to throw away my belongings

1K views 2 replies 3 participants last post by  turnera 
#1 · (Edited)
Thanks anyways :/
 
#2 ·
Oh boy. How long have the two of you been married?

How is he with things other than trash?

Would it be possible for you to buy a bunch of trash cans and line them up somewhere like in the kitchen, one for each of the things that he keeps for recycleing... plastic, paper, etc?

And of course a big one for his mail. Then set the rule that he has to just keep the stuff in the trash cans.

If I were you, I would also look through his mail and pull out the most important pieces and keep putting them on top.

Clearly he has OCD of some sort.

You might want to look for another counselor for yourself at this point. And with that counselor's help you might be able to figure out some stuff to help him.

I know that there are drugs that help people with OCD stop this kind of odd behavior.
 
#3 ·
You can't fix this yourself. I would start with getting a therapist for YOU. You need a lot of IC to be able to understand what a normal relationship should look like and how far from normal yours is.

I would also order the book Why Does He Do That? and read it all. You're in a controlling relationship and you need to understand what's going on so that you can work with it the RIGHT way.

You should also start taking little steps toward independence. I'm married to a packrat, 37 years, and I've NEVER been able to get him to stop being one. What I HAVE been able to do is set rules on what I will allow in MY house. He has taken over one kitchen cabinet, an entire 3-car garage, a bedroom, a whole dresser, and several other places. And since he started a company two years ago(!), he's tried to leave his stuff all over the house and I have just flat put my foot down. I 'gave' him the dining room, which we never use anyway. Anything to do with his business goes in there. Whether he wants it or not. If he asks, I just shrug and say "I gave you the dining room for your business; if you won't put the stuff somewhere else, that's where it's going." And then DROP THE SUBJECT.

Now, here is where you have to learn to, well, be an adult. A powerful person. Your H is used to getting what he wants by intimidating you. You'll never out-intimidate him, but you CAN show him that you're done being railroaded and if he wants to GET to stay married to you, he WILL respect you. That you're willing to accommodate him with one room for his stuff, but you will NOT stay married to a man who bullies his wife.

You're gonna need your own therapist to help you achieve this. So start there.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
You have insufficient privileges to reply here.
Top