Sorry, I had to edit because I accidentally hit the submit button before I finished.
So, right from the jump this is going to be long.
I met my husband towards the end of 2014 online. In October 2015 we found out he is the father of one of his exes 2 yr old little girl. He thought I was going to leave if she turned out to be his but that happened before I came along so I wasn't going to bail on him. When he realized I wasn't going anywhere he asked me to marry him. I said yes and we set a date for the next September.
Around April 2016 I found text messages where he'd been talking to other girls, including some telling his daughter's mother that he loved her and he was going to leave me "in time." This set me off. My last husband cheated on me and I wasn't going to go through the same thing again, I would leave first. He told me that he was only trying to appease her so she would let him see his daughter (this was before they had a custody agreement set up). He insisted he wanted to be with me and wasn't going anywhere. I told him conversations like that shouldn't happen and the only person he should be saying I love you to in that way is me. He agreed to go to counseling and we did. We worked things out and stayed together, getting married in September as planned.
Things have seemed to be okay since then. Last night I found messages between him and a girl he's been friends with for years. She recently got married and their conversation seemed a bit weird until I realized there were messages missing. They'd been deleted. I did see him say to her "What about my love lol?" and "What happened to marrying me lol?" Of course I ask him about it and he says she's a lesbian and they've always joked around like that. I told him I felt that when we got married any joking like that should have ended. I understand the joking around, I did it with my male friends. But it stopped when we got married as I considered it disrespectful to my husband and borderline cheating.
To my knowledge he hasn't actually done anything with anyone but I'm worried that the texting will lead to something else. Is this me being paranoid because I've been cheated on before or are my concerns legit?
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
So, right from the jump this is going to be long.
I met my husband towards the end of 2014 online. In October 2015 we found out he is the father of one of his exes 2 yr old little girl. He thought I was going to leave if she turned out to be his but that happened before I came along so I wasn't going to bail on him. When he realized I wasn't going anywhere he asked me to marry him. I said yes and we set a date for the next September.
Around April 2016 I found text messages where he'd been talking to other girls, including some telling his daughter's mother that he loved her and he was going to leave me "in time." This set me off. My last husband cheated on me and I wasn't going to go through the same thing again, I would leave first. He told me that he was only trying to appease her so she would let him see his daughter (this was before they had a custody agreement set up). He insisted he wanted to be with me and wasn't going anywhere. I told him conversations like that shouldn't happen and the only person he should be saying I love you to in that way is me. He agreed to go to counseling and we did. We worked things out and stayed together, getting married in September as planned.
Things have seemed to be okay since then. Last night I found messages between him and a girl he's been friends with for years. She recently got married and their conversation seemed a bit weird until I realized there were messages missing. They'd been deleted. I did see him say to her "What about my love lol?" and "What happened to marrying me lol?" Of course I ask him about it and he says she's a lesbian and they've always joked around like that. I told him I felt that when we got married any joking like that should have ended. I understand the joking around, I did it with my male friends. But it stopped when we got married as I considered it disrespectful to my husband and borderline cheating.
To my knowledge he hasn't actually done anything with anyone but I'm worried that the texting will lead to something else. Is this me being paranoid because I've been cheated on before or are my concerns legit?
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk