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Pregnant Girlfriend Won't Leave Daughter

3K views 29 replies 23 participants last post by  WilliamM 
#1 ·
I have a dilemma. I'm working in China but have a new job in Myanmar starting in July. I'm divorcing my cheating wife but not in time for the move to Myanmar. Myanmar is a very conservative country and initially said that my gf could not live with me in faculty housing until we were able to get married. When I pressed the issue, they "reluctantly" agreed that she could stay with me but absolutely no way would they allow her daughter from a previous marriage to attend the school. My girlfriend is pregnant. She refuses to come with me and leave her daughter with her ex-husband. She wants me to remain in China.

I just left my two biological daughters to go back overseas and resue my career as an International School Teacher. I just can't bring myself to make the sacrifice for another man's child that I wouldn't make for my own children. I'm going to marry my gf as soon as I can, I will send her all my money and I'll even sign over my share of assets once distributed but I am not giving up my career for the sake of another man's child. She is distraught over this and I feel terrible but my mind is made up.

Am I rotten person for this?
Why can't she let her ex- watch the girl for the duration of my 2 year contract?
 
#28 · (Edited)
You have it wrong. That teacher does not teach ESL. He teaches math and physic

And yes, the OP is that teacher. He has many accounts on TAM. All are banned because of his bad behavior towards others on TAM.

I think this story he posted is real. But Secondguessing, is now perma banned.
 
#6 ·
I have a dilemma. I'm working in China but have a new job in Myanmar starting in July. I'm divorcing my cheating wife but not in time for the move to Myanmar. Myanmar is a very conservative country and initially said that my gf could not live with me in faculty housing until we were able to get married. When I pressed the issue, they "reluctantly" agreed that she could stay with me but absolutely no way would they allow her daughter from a previous marriage to attend the school. My girlfriend is pregnant. She refuses to come with me and leave her daughter with her ex-husband. She wants me to remain in China.

I just left my two biological daughters to go back overseas and resue my career as an International School Teacher. I just can't bring myself to make the sacrifice for another man's child that I wouldn't make for my own children. I'm going to marry my gf as soon as I can, I will send her all my money and I'll even sign over my share of assets once distributed but I am not giving up my career for the sake of another man's child. She is distraught over this and I feel terrible but my mind is made up.

Am I rotten person for this?
Why can't she let her ex- watch the girl for the duration of my 2 year contract?
You posed the question, so I think you already know the answer.

You have impregnated a girlfriend, have two children by another woman and expect your girlfriend to abandon her daughter to fit in with your Jerry Springer/Jeremy Kyle Show lifestyle?

What is wrong with you? :mad:
 
#12 ·
He needs a kick where the sun don't shine,every day and twice on Sundays.Just because you can walk away from one family and start another family with a new woman it doesn't mean every parent shares your lack of morals,character and sense of responsibility.
Do the world a favour and get vasectomy.
 
#9 ·
I have a dilemma. I'm working in China but have a new job in Myanmar starting in July. I'm divorcing my cheating wife but not in time for the move to Myanmar. Myanmar is a very conservative country and initially said that my gf could not live with me in faculty housing until we were able to get married. When I pressed the issue, they "reluctantly" agreed that she could stay with me but absolutely no way would they allow her daughter from a previous marriage to attend the school. My girlfriend is pregnant. She refuses to come with me and leave her daughter with her ex-husband. She wants me to remain in China.

I just left my two biological daughters to go back overseas and resue my career as an International School Teacher. I just can't bring myself to make the sacrifice for another man's child that I wouldn't make for my own children. I'm going to marry my gf as soon as I can, I will send her all my money and I'll even sign over my share of assets once distributed but I am not giving up my career for the sake of another man's child. She is distraught over this and I feel terrible but my mind is made up.

Am I rotten person for this?
Why can't she let her ex- watch the girl for the duration of my 2 year contract?
Yep.
 
#17 · (Edited)
Well, let me say one thing in my defense.

When you go to see the doctor in China about a pregnancy, the first question you are asked at reception - and I mean the VERY FIRST question: "Do you want it?"
Both my gf and the receptionist looked at me. It would have been so easy to say no, we don't want it but I chose life. My gf and the baby will have abundant resources and I'll have another child, hopefully a boy, that I can see at holidays and whenever my gf and soon to be wife can visit in Myanmar.

I bet if I was in the military, off killing little Arab babies, you guys wouldn't be so harsh. Hell, you all probably want to give me a medal.

I certainly didn't want this to happen. I can't even say I love my gf. I do trust her. I was depressed and she really helped me and she restored my confidence. I'll support that baby and my gf until the day I die. Just like I'll support my two daughters and like I supported my two sons before that.

OK - I'm a rotten guy but I would never encourage a woman to abort my baby. I could have and with zero stigma but I chose life. So how bad can I be?
 
#18 ·
Well, let me say one thing in my defense.

When you go to see the doctor in China about a pregnancy, the first question you are asked at reception - and I mean the VERY FIRST question: "Do you want it?"
Both my gf and the receptionist looked at me. It would have been so easy to say no, we don't want it but I chose life. My gf and the baby will have abundant resources and I'll have another child, hopefully a boy, that I can see at holidays and whenever my gf and soon to be wife can visit in Myanmar.

I bet if I was in the military, off killing little Arab babies, you guys wouldn't be so harsh. Hell, you all probably want to give me a medal.

I certainly didn't want this to happen. I can't even say I love my gf. I do trust her. I was depressed and she really helped me and she restored my confidence. I'll support that baby and my gf until the day I die. Just like I'll support my two daughters and like I supported my two sons before that.

OK - I'm a rotten guy but I would never encourage a woman to abort my baby. I could have and with zero stigma but I chose life. So how bad can I be?
You're telling a mother to abandon her child. That's pretty high on the scum bag list. Damn near the top. Close to pedophile level.
 
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#27 ·
I am going to be the devils advocate here.I think you just cant help it.... I doubt you have ever really looked at yourself. Like. really. I think you have a deluded view of yourself and the world that you actually think this follow your dreams bull **** flies when you are abandoning offspring. I get your soon to be ex wife and you are no longer together. But do you actually think your daughters are better off with their father traipsing about? You have to have a deluded sense of the world to rationalize your right to just up and leave... Furthermore to imagine that your pregnant GF could also follow suit and do the same thing to her daughter.

You sir... Have a very deluded, twisted mind and Im sure you just cant help being as mentally flawed as you are. But take this advice along with all the other harsh advice you have received... Get into therapy, you are not a good parent, you need to get right with the world and yourself or this life is going to get real painful for you....eventually.

I say this as a warning... You are burning all the bridges to people you may eventually want to be involved with someday... Love is not a feeling, its an action. You by your own admission dont even love your girlfriend, so you cant claim its love for her. This is LOVE FOR YOURSELF. Thinking of YOU AND ONLY YOU, YOUR WANTS, YOUR NEEDS....grasp this, your an emotional idiot. Wake up, get smart, fix yourself.

And i say this from the heart.
GOOD LUCK facing yourself. It will be a bumpy ride if your have the balls to do it.
 
#30 ·
As much as I hate abortion, I would think this was one case were it would have been appropriate. And then the girlfriend should have dumped him.

The child she already has is the most important thing in her life. Should be, and must be. The OP is crazy to think she should abandon her child.

Mary says he is unbelievably selfish to even think of such a thing. A career is totally meaningless without compassion and love controlling and directing it.
 
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