, below is a paste of stats from a single site.:
- In over 1/3 of marriages, one or both partners admit to cheating.
- 22% of men say that they've cheated on their significant other.
- 14% of women admit to cheating on their significant other.
- 36% of men and women admit to having an affair with a coworker.
- 17% of men and women admit to having an affair with a sister-in-law or brother-in-law.
- People who have cheated before are 350% more likely to cheat again.
- Affairs are most likely to occur two years into a marriage.
- 35% of men and women admit to cheating while on a business trip.
- 9% of men admit they might have an affair to get back at a spouse.
- 14% of women admit they might have an affair to get back at a spouse.
- 10% of affairs begin online.
- 40% of the time online affairs turn into real life affairs.
The above doesn't come from a very reputable source, but is some parts of it is accurate - then there is some interesting info there (in regards to cheating WITH the SIL or BIL - ewww)
Now from books and other better sources, the amount of men who cheat (married or not) is about 65% and women are pretty much the same amount. Especially taking into consideration that women have a mental ability to bend reality more than men (ie: blow jobs are not sex. Ask a man, and we'll differ on that). So depending on country / culture - infidelity hits 30~65% of marriages.
With people I've met IRL and online - the 60% (give or take) cheating men and women seems realistic. WE all have the capacity to cheat. Some of us are better at not doing it than others.
Don't even count yourself as immune to cheating. My wife was pissed when a close family member on her side, cheated on his wife. 4~5 months later, she does it to me. Go figure.
You can try to "pick" Mr. perfect as much as possible. There are no guarantees. There are preachers (married) have sex with married women in their own churches - IN the church itself sometimes. Me, I'm not religious, I'm kinky, into some aspects of BDSM, have experiences doing threesomes - but I never cheated on my wife or past girlfriends. There simply isn't 100% full proof way of knowing.
You said it was very painful. I'd say its even FAR more painful when its your married partner and you have kids.
I've been hospitalized twice and spent months on medication to keep my heart from exploding. 180 over 1?? type of stuff. I was monitoring my heart a few times a day. I lost about 30lbs in about 3-4 weeks. It felt like a 400lb weight was on my chest. My head was pounding, I had PTSD pretty bad. I still twitch or have muscle spasms and panic attacks every once in awhile - that I never had before.
Love is great - but yeah, opening your heart is always a risk in life.