I read this on comment on a Yahoo.com article about Gal Gadot's husband being proud he's married to Wonder Woman.
"SHOW ME A WOMAN -- ANY WOMAN -- and I'LL SHOW YOU A GUY WHO WAS TIRED OF BANGING HER -- NUFF SAID."
and this were some of the responses the comment received:
"That's called marriage." and "In other words, men are incapable of commitment in a monogamous relationship."
This is the kind of stuff that makes question if it's even worth getting married. Makes me think that most men will eventually cheat anyway so...why bother?! Maybe it's better to face the pain of being alone than the pain of being cheated on.
Anyway I don't mean to offend any men here so please don't take it personally. I just wanted to rant a bit about this kind of attitude some men seem to have. I know women can be bad too but as a straight woman I tend to focus more on men's behavior.
Respectfully have you ever read a political board? Do you think everyone in the world of politics behaves that way? Ever read a sports board? Do you think every sports fan is that way? Why on earth would you judge all men by some numbskulls on some dumb movie blog. The are probably 15 year old children.
I am a man and I have never cheated. Read my posts I rail on cheaters men and women. I absolutely hate that **** with a passion. As far as I know none of my male friends have cheated on their wives, two of them were cheated on though. I was cheated on. All of us survived by the way. One is remarried, and one seems to be on his way to R (though I hope he is not making a mistake, but he will get there as he is really growing as a person either way).
I don't know your story but were you cheated on in the past? Is this part of your fear?
Look the truth is nothing in life is guaranteed, I understand the fear, my Father cheated on my Mother and a bunch of other women. I was cheated on. It is a big risk to put your heart out there. Nothing good in life comes without risk though right?
You can minimize the risk by learning about human nature, reading books about men, talking to good and bad men, reading books about what makes a good marriage, understanding proper boundaries, figure out what you expect and don't settle even once. But most of all looking for character. Character that has nothing to do with your relationship but that is shown in actions that no one really sees. Look for a man who does stuff that you know is difficult and hard that no one sees, only because it is the right thing to do. That will give you a good sense of what kind of man he is.
If you get to the point were you are happy to be alone it will be much easier to not settle. So work to getting to that place.
One other thing, you speak about marriage. Marriage is not like Disney, it doesn't happen and then everything is happily ever after. If you think that is what it is then don't get married because you will be disappointed.
It's more like learning to play the piano. It can be great fun, and very rewarding, but a lot of times it is boring, lots of times it's hard work. You need to practice and continue to work or you can get sloppy and make mistakes. It is usually harder at the beginning, but there are moments when you are playing where it's just fun and freeing. It's two people learning and growing at a skill. When you get really good at it, it brings immense joy and pride to your life.
Anyway don't give up hope, and please don't judge the world by message boards, if the world was really like it is on the internet it wouldn't last a day. I am sure I would have been punched in the face about 10 times. I would have fought back though.