Does the fact that I had to snoop and spy to get any of this information offset anything that she's lied about.
No. She lied and you found out. If you snooped because you had suspicions it is a valid reason. In marriage there is no secrecy or lies. If you were just paranoid for no reason whatsoever and have a history of bugging your girlfriends' cars, homes, computers, etc then it is a problem you need to address within yourself.
OK, I can relate to some of what you wrote about your wife's past. Before we got married we had the talks about our pasts. Now 30 years later I find out hers was substantially different than she represented to me.
The things I have found out about include some details and some generalities. I don't know which of her male friends she did, so I wonder about some of the guys we hung out with and like you what were they thinking. And yes it bothers me some of the stuff I have found out she did. Part of what bothers me is that she refuses to do those things with me, and they are normal things like sex in a car, and others are a little more unrestrained but not even to the level of anal (which I personally have no interest in).
The bottom line is that you are finding out that she is not who you thought she was. She did stuff which might not have been a big problem had you known about it. But you find out now about these things and it shakes the basis of your perception and beliefs about her. So those things bother you more than they might have otherwise, because they emphasize the falsity of what you have believed.
The other part is very important too, and that is the lies. The dishonesty makes it all worse.
Yes I think you should be worried about her dishonesty. There is a pattern here of substantial lies about substantial things. She worries more about protecting herself than respecting you.
As to the guy committing suicide, I hope you both know that he didn't do it because of her or the pictures. He was mentally ill and did a crazy thing. You and your wife have no blame in the matter at all.