I'm 37. My husband & I have 2 young kids. We've been together 17 years and married 14 and honestly haven't ever had a satisfying marriage.
Short version- I was never priority (let his mom come between us), he doesn't do emotional intimacy at all, there was dishonesty big and small, and never really supported me through tough times big or small. I'm sure I wasn't perfect either but I truly tried. And I asked for what I wanted/needed. He never responded to my needs or maybe just wasn't capable of it.
I'm done. I've been done for a couple of years but afraid to say it. I finally did say it last week. And now he wants to work at it.
Problem is I'm shut down. Years of wanting and asking for intimacy, support, honesty and openness and nothing ever changing, I'm just shut down. I have zero expectations and I don't want anything from him at all. Im not even mad anymore. I'm simply indifferent. Good or bad, nothing he does really matter.
But then I think of the kids (he's a great dad and overall a nice guy) and the fact that he wants to try... and feel like I should give it a shot. But at the same time - I don't feel a thing...
I don't know what to do. Is there any hope for working on it? Or going to counseling? I feel like there isn't but I'm in also in a miserable hopeless mood. :-/
TIA!
Short version- I was never priority (let his mom come between us), he doesn't do emotional intimacy at all, there was dishonesty big and small, and never really supported me through tough times big or small. I'm sure I wasn't perfect either but I truly tried. And I asked for what I wanted/needed. He never responded to my needs or maybe just wasn't capable of it.
I'm done. I've been done for a couple of years but afraid to say it. I finally did say it last week. And now he wants to work at it.
Problem is I'm shut down. Years of wanting and asking for intimacy, support, honesty and openness and nothing ever changing, I'm just shut down. I have zero expectations and I don't want anything from him at all. Im not even mad anymore. I'm simply indifferent. Good or bad, nothing he does really matter.
But then I think of the kids (he's a great dad and overall a nice guy) and the fact that he wants to try... and feel like I should give it a shot. But at the same time - I don't feel a thing...
I don't know what to do. Is there any hope for working on it? Or going to counseling? I feel like there isn't but I'm in also in a miserable hopeless mood. :-/
TIA!