When do friends come before your spouse? - Page 15 - Talk About Marriage
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post #211 of 212 (permalink) Old 01-26-2012, 01:26 AM
Join Date: May 2008
Posts: 143
Re: When do friends come before your spouse?

Originally Posted by Tall Average Guy View Post
A couple off the top of my head:

No discussion of your marriage to members of the opposite sex.
No alone time with them.
No discussion of sex or sexual topics with them.

There is a thread on whether you can stop cheating that includes these types of rules (I think it was that_girl that had a very good list).
And let me add, pack HIS bags and put them at the door. He should be the one who leaves.

Anyone who would put a 'friend' above their spouse, imo, care's less about the spouse.

If it's just a normal friend, no sexual contact, no sexual aything, no touchng of any sort, then I can see your husband making a stand.
But a woman grinding on your husband, calling him crying about her relationshp, flirting while her own husbands back is turned, that jezebel needs to go! And if your husband can't see this, ask him for the keys to the house as he's picking up his bags.

DO NOT play second fiddle to this woman. Either your husband loves you enough to break off contact with her or he doesn't. It really is that simple.

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post #212 of 212 (permalink) Old 01-26-2012, 12:34 PM
Join Date: Dec 2011
Posts: 3,490
Re: When do friends come before your spouse?

I came to TAM as well to get a better picture of this phenemone called Emotional Affairs. I feel that my marriage was torn apart by my exH showing favor to other women to my disadvantage.

One thing that I find interesting is that at time as we had met each other in grad school I had some male friends as well.

I always expected my male friend to be respectful of my husband and I told my husband if he felt that they were not I wanted to know about it and I would do something about it.

My exH never expressed that courtesy to me. And what I found to occur all to often, is that the more contact a woman had with my exH, the more emboldened and dismissive her behaviors was towards me. I had really started the marriage with assumption that everyone was going to be on their best behavior. Instead, I now realise that there are a fair few people out there, women, certain women who don't care or who maybe even get off on befriending me without any regard to the other relationships he may have or will have in the future.

Sadly, it's for this reason that I am also suspicious of women who behave too chummily with men or who say (as if it were a badge of honor) that they get along better with men than with women.

I don't want to tell my partner what he can or cannot do, but I would like for him to be cognizant of someone who is becoming progressively disrespectful of the web of relationships that he represents.
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