Depressed and Lost

guitarcat213 · 01-28-2009, 10:10 PM

I'm depressed most days of the month and my husband and I have only been married a little over 6 months! In my life, people see me as the perky one, the life of the party. But lately, I wake up with dread... I feel like I'm walking on egg shells.

My husband is a good man but I'm miserable because he's:
- Noncommunicative
- Can snap for no reason
- I ask a simple question and he barks something back at me that's very short, and angry
- WHENEVER (and I mean WHEN-EVER) I ask for a favor he instantly says "NO!" I think he thinks it's funny!! It wears on me.
- He's an aggressive driver and complains the entire time in the car about other drivers
- We were a very horny couple but now we have sex about once every 2 weeks. Last month, we had sex ONCE!

I'm so depressed and I'm happier when my husband is out of town. I feel like I can't ask him teh simplest question because he'll snap. I feel like I have to coddle him so he won't freak out if I bring up plans or ask him to help me with something. I'm so miserable about the constant negativity, the lack of attention, the condescending attitude, and the irritability.

What makes it worse is that we're trying to get pregnant and starting the process for selling our houses to buy one house.

I'm afraid I've made the wrong decision. I'm in my mid 30's and my husband is in his late 30's.

I'm calling my insurance company tomorrow. I need to see someone. I can't believe how unhappy I am. "On paper", I have everything I've ever wanted! I have a great job, am done grad school, good friend, good family, and am married and looking forward to being a mom someday soon.

But living with my husband - - just makes me more sad and more sad each day.

I have no idea what to do. We've talked about the behavior but it doesn't make much of a difference at all.

Blanca · 01-28-2009, 10:14 PM

was your H like this before you were married? how often, and how long, is he out of town?

guitarcat213 · 01-29-2009, 04:39 PM

Not out of town much. I guess he was like this before we were married but I was able to explain it away to wedding planning stress or this or that.

Sadly... we had an awful Christmas and New Year's eve as well. He was so short with me and irritable with me the entire time that by the time we got to opening presents I was giving him a bit of the cold shoulder. Of course, my parents didn't see him irritable with me, they saw me giving him the cold shoulder on XMas morning.

I just don't know what to do. How do you deal with someone who's short and snappy with you all the time?

- GuitarCat

nursemom2009 · 01-29-2009, 04:50 PM

*

Blanca · 01-29-2009, 05:11 PM

im just a little concerned that if you are not having sex, that he's getting it elsewhere. you said he was irritable prior to marriage, so maybe not, but sometimes when a person is hiding something they can be short tempered.

and i definitely agree with nursemom. do not have kids right now.

sunny123 · 01-29-2009, 05:19 PM

i think....u shuld make him realise wat u r gng thru----- nt pointing finger on him or directly findly faults in him or something like that......
hav a polite talk with him----tell him wat u feel bad about----dnt tell him that he did smthng wrong so u r hurt coz of that...
use more of " I FEEL LET DOWN......" or something like this...

thn see hw he reacts----see if he is listening u or no....
u will get ur answere urself---if he is listening u then he wnts to put some efforts into ur marriage...otherwise...u will hav to fid some other way