01-23-2012, 12:01 PM
Join Date: Jan 2012
| | Wife may be depressed - Long distance - Need advice
I'm not going to go too far back into our relationship;
I am 23 and my wife is 29
I worked in the US for 3 years.
Dated my wife for 2 years,
Moved back to Canada in October, (work visa ended)
Got married in December to deal with immigration. (just paperwork)(we were both very happy at this point and had an excellent week after together)
She stopped taking the pill around 35-40 days ago too (we're going to try for kids) We were always really happy with each other.
Last week or so my wife has been asking for space(i know long distance space=?) But basically we would Skype and play video games with each other for hours a day(up to 12 hrs on weekends).
(I work right now, She doesn't. She has been looking for work for last couple months but I feel right now she has stopped and is in a rut. She barely eats(like once a day)and i see her doing nothing but sitting at home and playing video games all day every day) (She never leaves her house except to go her fast food once a day) (i do not and have not ever paid any of her bills)
I made the stupid mistake of not immediately giving her this space and i feel that it has made things worse between us. Hopefully only for now.
So after discussing some relationship issues with my wife on Friday, I started to give her a lot more space. Yesterday I sparked up another relationship based conversation(in which she said the more i try to talk to her the more i push her away) and now going to give her as much space as she wants.
Some questions i have been pondering;
1-If she has asked for space, would it be ok to just send her a message every morning and night saying good morning/night I love her? (this would be the only thing id send to her unless she starts a conversation)
2-How exactly should i go about this whole thing with her work/rut situation?
3-How the hell can I get through this? Because she is the first woman in my life I've ever had REAL feelings for and its so hard to see her on Skype and in the game but not talk to her. I feel a bit depressed myself and have begun to not eat properly and have no motivation to really do anything myself anymore.
BTW Important notes - I have been told by many people that this could just be a hormone related thing with her body, yesterday when we talked i just mentioned it briefly because it was suggested by many people to try to get her to see a doctor. Also I have offered to send money before but she never allowed me to. So its not like I've been paying her way.(she has rich parents that have been helping her.)
Also she has been suicidal when she was a teenager. She dealt with depression for a while. Has been fine for many years though.
I also think it is possible she has PMDD.
I love this woman and im sure she still loves me, just need some friendly advice.