yiiikes

Two months before our wedding, my wife emailed a man that she was dating just prior to our engagement the following: " I don't know if you want an audience watching this awkward moment. We could have a private meeting...wink wink...you know what I mean". I feel it is completely inappropriate language between them, she insists it is sarcasm and the "wink wink" means "just joking". Who is correct? Should I be concerned?

that_girl

Be concerned.

Are you already married? If not, call it off until you get answers or figure things out.

If yes, well....I dunno. It could be messy.

__________________

EleGirl

If it was a one time thing, no.

How long have you been married?

What other evidence of possible bad behavior or infidelity do you have?

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yiiikes

Yes we are married. This excerpt is from a long thread of communication between them spanning 6 weeks. Ultimately they switched to IM and the thread ended.

that_girl

Wow. When did you find this? How long have you been married?

__________________

yiiikes

We have been married for 6 years, I just ran across the thread recently. What does the expression "wink wink" mean? SHe tells me it means just joking, proving the communication is harmless.

2nd_t!me iz_best

bs.

wouldnt matter.
any amount of times from a woman just about to get married?
this is a bad situation.

EleGirl

" I don't know if you want an audience watching this awkward moment. We could have a private meeting...wink wink...you know what I mean".

It is not clear what the "awkward moment" is. And wink wink is often meant to mean it's a joke.

But now the OP says this was not just one text... it was one of many over several weeks. That's a totally different situation.

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Surviving An Affair - What Are Plan A and Plan B? 180 for Betrayed Spouses


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EleGirl

I use "wink wink" all the time to mean I'm joking. We use chat at work... when I joke at work I often use one or two wink icons to go with it.

If it was only one message, it proves not really. There's no clue to what they were walking about.

But you said that there were many over a few weeks.

How did you find these chats 6 years after the face?

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Surviving An Affair - What Are Plan A and Plan B? 180 for Betrayed Spouses


To Create A Passionate Marriage - Five Steps to Romantic Love His Needs, Her Needs Love Busters

2nd_t!me iz_best

or a flirt like 'you know what i mean'

and to an exbf?
come on.

completely inappropriate on its own.
and then the continued texts then im's, i think confirms it.

EleGirl

Like I said, the continued texts are what makes it very concerning.

__________________
Surviving An Affair - What Are Plan A and Plan B? 180 for Betrayed Spouses


To Create A Passionate Marriage - Five Steps to Romantic Love His Needs, Her Needs Love Busters

2nd_t!me iz_best

the first one would be a major concern for me.

had i found something like that before i got or get married, there would be no marriage, or anything with that person again.

Kurosity

I would be concerned. For me a wink is a flirt??? but what else was there I think more context would help??

yiiikes

Some other lines from the thread:
"Ouch, can't a girl get a break in this town?? Just wait till I see you"

"Well I know you have a really busy social life, so whenever you could fit me in =-)."

"Actually, I would like to meet soon....like asap, let me know when you don't have plans, I really need to talk to you."

"Yikes! I was very hurt when you blew me off, don't think that went unnoticed."

zsu234

Polygraph! Kids?