lizandbryan

I have been married for almost 7 years. Me and my husband have been having trouble for years, well 6 of them anyway. We have a 17 month old daughter whom we both love very much, but i feel that we are only together for her. We have seperated a total of 9 times,some lasting as long as 6-7 months. He has cheated on me and I have cheated on him. I hate hurting him and everytime i try to end it he crys and i feel bad and we get back together. When we broke up 4 years ago we were about to get divorced and then i got pregnant, he and i both thought that we could work it out for the baby, then i had a miscarriage. We thought we would try again and i got pregnant again in July, and 12 weeks later i had a miscarriage. And ever since then our marriage has been nothing but fighting and arguing, and then the cheating began. I became pregnant in 2005 with my daughter, we agreed to try and make things work, and they did for a lil while. Here recently i have become very depressed and unhappy with my life with him, i want him to leave me alone, he makes my skin crawl when he touches me. I am not attracted to him, physically, emotionally or sexually. I don;t know if there is something personally wrong with me, or if i am just so unhappy that i can;t stand it. He cries when i bring it up, and tells me he wants to work it out but i am just wanting to be alone. I sometimes think it is because we got married so young, i was 18 he was 22. I need some advice on what i should do. How should i handle this situation? Should we stay together for our daughter? Is there any hope?

Geneva

Dear Liz,

Sounds like you are protecting yourself from him hurting you again. Before I get married, I had a similar relationship to yours. My ex-boyfriend cheated on me, and I could never trust him completely again. I cheated on him, after he cheated on me, and the relationship got worse. I thought that I would feel better after cheating on him ( I was so wrong). I was so numb from pain that I did not want him to touch me or have sex with me. I would cringe when he came near me. I was depressed and angry. I finally decided after a 2 years of getting back together and breaking up with him that I would always love him, but he was not good for me as a partner. My situation was less complicated than yours, but my suggestion to you is to seek someone to talk with. You can post more to me on the internet and I would be glad to listen. I hope you find someone to speak with.

Peace,
Geneva

Latriste

I think for your daughter you should leave him. I don't think it is a good environment for her seeing her parents fighting all the time.