paul1001

Hi everyone, i need some advice as i feel if i talk to my friends about this it could be embarrassing for me and my partner

I love my girlfriend which I've been with for 6 months and i would do anything to keep her happy but recently she has been saying things to upset me and were arguing, I rarely say anything to upset her and if i did i would just think about how she feels and apologise before an argument arises......i just want to be happy so I'm making the efforts to do so by being loving, kind, caring, honest and sending flowers, chocs, holidays and I'm even taking her Cannes for valentines...

heres the prob

1. We were recently watching TV and she said "Look at that mans willy!!" i said id rather not and to keep that to herself, we didn't argue about it but she said whats the problem she don't understand she's joking??

2. My girlfriend is a hairdresser and recently she's decided that she wants to do spray tanning, she recently suggested an idea to me saying that I should give out her business card at my Mens Gym so she can spray tan men??? i said to her that I'm not comfortable with her spraying half to near naked men and she says I'm stupid and she doesn't see a problem, tried talking but just ends up in an argument... If i decided to work with near naked women though with near perfect bodies she wouldn't be happy even though she trusts me....... She says people would laugh at me for having a problem with this..?

3. Me and my girlfriend were recently out with her sister and her boyfriend going for a walk in the park, the sisters boyfriend went for a pee in the bushes and my girlfriend shouted in a joking laddette way ..... "got your willy out!!" everybody went quiet and I said to her that i don't wanna hear stuff like that. She didn't see a problem.

I do trust my girlfriend, i really do , and i want her to be herself around me, but these days I'm finding her quite in sensitive and selfish with these comments that a boyfriend doesn't wanna know, thing is she won't accept that they upset me and she won't see it from my point of view at all and keeps on saying stuff like that...... I've tried talking until i can't talk anymore, tried to be reasonable in every way.. she just says ..... she knows who she is and she don't care.....


should i be cool with this? help

I'mInLoveWithMyHubby

If you don't like her behavior now, don't marry her. You can not change who she is. It's very smart to get to the person really well before marrying. Your girlfriend has rude behavior for sure. The spray tanning, she's just looking for business. Her looking at other "willies", she's not 100% into you. Very disrespectful. Maybe this isn't the one to marry. You'll end up miserable and divorced.
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paul1001

Don't get me wrong she's not like this everyday and we have been very happy, she says shes joking when says these things and she's not doing it in a way to make me feel as if she is into someone else but in a disrespectful joking way, I just don't find it amusing and it's getting us into arguments as she won't see her comments from my point of view that these things annoy me..... Sometimes I think a woman never wants to see they just wanna win arguments....
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abandonedcompletely

What she is doing is rude and disrespectful.

Discounting your feelings is very disrespectful. It will only get worse if you marry her.

It is very difficult to have a successful relationship if one doesn't respect the other and feelings are dismissed
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s.k

Talk to her and explain to her how it is making you feel for the last time also letting her know that if things dont change then you dont see a future with her. You dont want to change who is she but you would appreciate it if she could understand your feelings and not do these things. I think she thinks that this is something that you will get used to as you havent said anything about how it wil effect your future if you do decide to have one with her. She is being disrespectful and behaving like shes single you need to give her a wake up call and remind her that she is in a relationship

workitout

If you're having problems pre-marriage, they will only be amplified after you're married. Not to mention, they'll be matched up with new problems that will happen along the way.

paul1001

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paul1001

Sometimes when you talk to a partner they can sometimes feel like your starting an argument rather than to resolve and make things better... Can also be seen as "Me Vs Her" and she's gotta defend herself and disagree, , so I will just direct her to this forum post and hope she will understand finally not just from my point of view but a strangers too, if she doesn't want to consider my feelings then I guess I don't have much of a relationship, partner, best friend or girlfriend in her..... I want to do what's best to make things better if she's willing too.
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