How to begin?
A bit of background: I have been married to my dear husband for 21 years. He was my middle school and high school sweetheart and even though we broke up and got back together a lot during that time, we ended up marrying at age 21. We had two children early on and after he graduated college, he joined the military. Which means, I did too. Sigh.
Fast forward twenty years. I have a son in college (literally) on the other side of the world and a daughter in high school. We live overseas in a part of the world that I do NOT want to be in. We have been overseas for five years and I desperately wish to go home. I am tired of being a military wife and the toll that it takes on me and my children. Even my college aged son would like to be near his family!
We are due to leave here in 18 months. My daughter and I want to go home NOW but are willing to finish out the school year. When we move this summer, she will be starting the 11th grade. If she waited, she would have to move her senior year. She has gone to more than seven different schools and I feel like it isn't too much to ask for her to be able to go 11th and 12th grade at the same place. Added bonus: nearer to son.
My husband seemed to think this was fine. He was sad, said he would "miss his girls" but that he would join us when the year was up. He would come see us at Christmas and then be with us permanently.
So, everything was great? Except that he isn't following through with the proper paper work. Everytime I bring it up he says, "Oh, you still want to do that? I thought you were done with that idea." If we have an argument, he says "well, you are the one leaving me."
He has started drinking a lot and SMOKING. Yuck. He never did that before. We seem to be growing apart. I don't know if it is my unhappiness being here in this location, being homesick and missing my son. OR if my husband has just become a jerk. I am sure he is stressed by us leaving and definitely sad. I want him to realize that it isn't HIM but he says he is sorry that he wasn't enough for us and he can't make us happy. Oh, no. It breaks my heart.
I really, really did not want to come here. He thought it would be best for us and refused to consider other options even though I begged him. Saying, it is HIS career and he knows best. *I* am tired of being the dutiful military wife and go whereever the military says to go. (Especially this place!)
So, often I begin to feel that I would rather just stay here that extra year than hurt my husband in such a way. Did I mention that I love this man dearly and he has always been such an incredible father? Flip side: Dear daughter has always been very close to Dad but she hates it here, too. Her school stinks (really bad) and she is just ready to "start her life".
Sorry if this isn't written very well. I really wanted to get my thoughts out here and see if anyone has any ideas in this type of situation. I don't want to hurt my husband or my daughter. Boo.