Originally Posted by TBT
The first thing that came to your mind when you made this list was that you scratched his car.Really?? I'm pretty sure that's not the first thing that comes to his mind.
This is bang on the mark!
OK, first things first - you are free to private message me.
I have been put through tough times by my wife, she too has a nasty element to her history and did bad things to me and the past is her "excuse". I know "excuse" here seems harsh after what yu have been through, but that's exactly how your husband sees it. I think I understand your husband.
He has spent years telling you that what you are doing has been damaging - you ignored it that time.
I know other posters mean well here saying he should tell you but he already spend years doing that. It's too late for that now.
It is not his job to fix your actions, it is not his job to find out what to do for you - Can't you see? In his mind that is just more sign of you not taking responsibility for your actions...
In his mind, if he tells you what to do, then you have not taken the time to understand the damage you have done .. just looked for a "shortcut".
Show him what I just wrote and he'll tell you "That's right!" I believe - that would be the test if I am on the mark or not.
What you need to accept now, is two wrongs don't make a right, but because someone did wrong to you does not make it better what you did to him for all those years! This is what he wants - to truely believe you accept this fact.