Re: should I give my wife a hall pass
You know that's the wrong question. The right question is what are you willing to do to save the marriage. If you're willing to do a lot, the first thing I would do is take an extremely hard line. As in, "Hey babe, it seems like you feel you are missing something. If you want to be with another man, be my guest. Just understand that if you do then we are done and you are out of my life. Period. Do you want me to help you pack your bags right now."
I know this is harsh. But cheaters need a clear understanding of consequences to counter the crazy brain chemestry that is telling them, "it's okay, you deserve to be happy."