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post #31 of 33 (permalink) Old 02-15-2012, 05:39 PM
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Re: everyones option: breaking up

Originally Posted by synthetic View Post
Divorce is life's biggest failure. I don't agree that one should accept failure with open arms.
Life`s biggest failure would be to take the path that devalues that life.

That could be divorce or it could just as easily be reconciliation.

Life for many of us is far to precious to waste on a relationship that has no value.

Infidelity is not a "mistake", a mistake is a miscalculation or misunderstanding.
Infidelity is never either of these.

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post #32 of 33 (permalink) Old 02-15-2012, 11:07 PM
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Re: everyones option: breaking up

Originally Posted by synthetic View Post
This board is unfortunately overwhelmingly pro-divorce. Many people here have been hurt so badly either by infidelity or abuse that they use this forum as a medium to empty their resentments/frustrations on relationships that they have no stake in.

I've come to accept that marriage is simply not what it's supposed to be and most people are not qualified to get married.

Divorce is life's biggest failure. I don't agree that one should accept failure with open arms.
I absolutely disagree with you on this, I find everyone on this site is overwhelmingly in favor of marital values. If there is reason to believe that the spouses' love for each other is true even after an affair and there is remorse almost everyone on here will urge the distressed commenter to work on the marriage.

I think the reason it may seem there are a lot of pro-divorce comments in cases where one spouse is not vested, in which case the marriage is already over in every way except for the paperwork. Many of us have been badly hurt by infidelity, and at one point did believe that divorce is life's biggest failure, but by accepting that we can't control others or be responsible for another's happiness we have learned that divorce is not the worst thing after all, nor is it our own failure.
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post #33 of 33 (permalink) Old 02-16-2012, 12:49 AM
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Re: everyones option: breaking up

I think there is probably some truth to the idea that ending things is often what is viewed as the solution. There are definitely circumstances that require a relationship to be ended, but taking the time and making the effort to work things should be the default answer in a lot of cases.
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