So I have now been married to Heather for 5 years. We have one amazing daughter and a son the way. Now while my marriage has been good, it has not been amazing.
Oh god, here we go. Another person that isn't going to be satisfied being with the same person for long. New and exciting opportunity for sex with someone else comes along, and you think the grass is greener on the other side.
From the day I proposed, I thought deep down that I am marrying the wrong woman, but was in too deep to turn back.
Bulls*** and onions. You don't propose to someone you think is the wrong woman. Either you wanted her or you didn't. Now its all moot as you can't change the past there, but don't try to tell us there was no turning back if you realized this when you went to propose.
I think that was my big mistake. I constantly am thinking about Julie and how my life would be if I had married her instead. We secretly get in touch from time to time and every time, we have to stop as it is too painful for both of us. She still loves me unconditionally and is not shy about stating it. And I know I still love her, but try and hold back as best I can given my situation. She is living with a man, but has refused to get married as she still trying to deal with losing me.
So you are an emotionally unfaithful person as is she.
You both should set your SO's free from you. Don't waste any more of their time on this earth that they could be using to find someone who loves them. Then you and this other woman can do whatever you want without further hurting them or wasting any more of their time.
This is where I need advice. My thoughts for her have never gone away and recently intensified to the point where every day I am thinking about how my life would have been better married to Julie.
So do it. Pay your child support, and make it right with your wife in a divorce.
It’s not that there are any major issues with my current marriage to Heather, it’s just that I don’t have the same feeling for her as I do Julie. The intensity of these thoughts fluctuate, but they never go away.
Am I being stupid here and suffering from “grass is greener on the other side” type thing?
I think so, and I think with Julie, or any other woman you just might be the type where the 7 year itch is too much to handle and you'll need to scratch sooner or later.
But really, I'm concerned about your wife and Julie's current man. The deserve better than to be with someone that will always pine for someone else.
I know I am being unfair to my wife and kids, but cannot change how I feel.
Then that statement says it all. Set your wife free.
I am seriously considering various options to be with her. Whether it be a full-on divorce from my wife…which is highly unlikely given that I have a kid on the way. Or maybe some secret meetings once or twice a year although this is not ideal as it would only make things even harder once back to reality.
And somehow you think anyone in their right mind here is going to tell you that you should further F over your wife by entering a physical affair with this Julie?
Or I could wait until the kids are older and then divorce.
Oh thats real nice. Waste 15 to 18 more years of this woman's life only to dump her later. What kind of man are you?
Or do I just suck it up?
Nope, it still isn't going to be fair to your wife. You've listed every option OTHER THAN trying to spark a fire with your wife.
So seeing as how you are obviously not interested in that, divorce your wife. Let her find someone that will love her.