Can't Get Through

2blu · 10-27-2007, 11:49 AM

I am hoping that someone can shed some light here. My husband and I have been married for 7 years, no children, my second marriage, his third. Slowly over the years he has 'quit' friends, shared activities and a few days ago told me he was 'done' (with us). As things that we shared in the past dwindled, I started taking more interest in things I love. He has told me that he is not interested in the things I am interested in and has no desire to offer a suggestion for something we can both share. We love to travel and yet now he will not go anywhere with me. He says he is very happy sitting and watching TV. I am active in a gym 3 days a week and have lost weight recently which he is not happy about. He has told me from the beginning that he isn't at my level and that I would find someone else and leave him. I have NOT and started to resent the insinuation after awhile. I really am having trouble giving up all the things I love to do without alternatives and being shot down for taking care of myself. He may feel threatened, but I can't get him to talk. I want to live and he either has given up on life or just me, but he will not talk about it. I am hurt and yet feel helpless when met with silence and an unwilliness to make things better. I don't want to give up.

draconis · 10-27-2007, 12:02 PM

What things besides travel is he interested in?

draconis

evenow · 10-27-2007, 01:46 PM

My initial response is he sounds depressed. Do you know of anything that may have happened to cause this slow decline?

2blu · 10-27-2007, 02:05 PM

Thank you for replying. I think he is depressed, but he won't see anyone. He isn't interested in anything except sports on TV. I just can't get him to tell me anything or get help.

draconis · 10-27-2007, 03:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 2blu

Thank you for replying. I think he is depressed, but he won't see anyone. He isn't interested in anything except sports on TV. I just can't get him to tell me anything or get help.

How about going to a game for one of the teams he likes?

draconis

2blu · 10-27-2007, 06:54 PM

I appreciate that suggestion, however, I think it needs to be something more consistent. We have gone to games this year, but they are few and far between. Last night he didn't come home until 2:00am and hasn't spoken to me since. I am hoping that waiting will help him to open up. Do you know why a man would just quit? He says that if he can't achieve some sort of self-defined goal he just doesn't do it anymore. Somewhere he is trying to deal with something and I can't get through.

draconis · 10-27-2007, 07:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 2blu

I appreciate that suggestion, however, I think it needs to be something more consistent. We have gone to games this year, but they are few and far between. Last night he didn't come home until 2:00am and hasn't spoken to me since. I am hoping that waiting will help him to open up. Do you know why a man would just quit? He says that if he can't achieve some sort of self-defined goal he just doesn't do it anymore. Somewhere he is trying to deal with something and I can't get through.

Would he have a reason that you stiffled his in something he wanted to do?

draconis

draconis · 10-27-2007, 08:11 PM

I started to do a thesis on depression and after two hours into researching it I remembered the things you have said here, IMHO I think your husband might be suffering from Clinical depression. Is there anyway he can have his general doctor check him out?

draconis

kajira · 10-31-2007, 01:09 PM

It sounds like he is disconnecting himself totally from you and everything around. Question: Has he said where he was until 2am??? That is a red flag to me that his interests may lay else where.