Tricked, I don't know who I married
I am new to the site and looking for advice dealing with my relationship with my husband.
My husband went through a divorce with his ex , who wanted the divorce not him. During the divorce he remained close to his ex to gain custody of his kids, which is where they belong. I won't go into that mess. My husband during all of the divorce became a Christian and by the time we began to date he was bent on being a changed man of God, never going back to his past. I was shocked to learn of his past and didn't blame him for his feelings of shame. Turns out his wife brought other women into the relationship for both of their pleasure. He fell in love with one of the women who actually moved in with them and their kids. Before we dated I verified he was over this and wanted to live according to God's will. I got the song and dance assuring me yes and he didn't even want to go to the wild parties at their friends houses. I wasn't totally convinced but I stepped out in faith trusting that he was a good father, changed man, and basically a good person.
After dating for a while we were engaged and married. Things started off rocky the first week when he left to meet the ex and sign a paper, telling me he would be right back. After three hours I threw the supper I cooked him in the garbage and went to bed. He said she wanted to talk so they did and cried together. I was upset due to the fact he could have called me with the phone on his side. His excuse was he didn't think about it.....EXCUSE ME....he didn't think about his NEW wife at home for almost 4 hours. I was pretty hott. About a month after that, all of the and women he had been with in the past started appearing on his facebook, calling all hours of the night and showing up everywhere we went. I was getting slapped in the face all the time with his past, trying to adjust to living with new and different families, his ex texting him in the middle of the night wanting him to come have sex with her or lay with her, and to top it off his mother moved in with us. I have been a full time student since we began to date and I am cleaning house, caring for his kids and his mother and cooking when not doing homework. I make time for him and the kids at any cost at any time. It has been almost two years now and he says he is unhappy and feels tied down. He no longer goes to church,prays or even talks about God, and when I try to talk to him he is mean, short and bitter. I have prayed about everything but his treatment of me has gotten horrible. I have caught him lying about little things and confronted him, he still denies the thruth and calls me crazy (amoung other not nice things) and complains about things I don't even do, so I drop it. He has been getting text messages from a girl he claims not to know and nude pictures, which he saves on his phone. I asked him to erase them and asked why he looks at them if he is married to me. I was told he likes looking at other women naked, he is a man and it turns him on, I better learn to cope or leave. He followed up by saying there was some thing wrong with me not wanting to look at other men and he wished I would. He also wants to start going out with the boys to have a few drinks or over to friends houses drinking without me. He said he wants to be a man hang out, drink and have fun and talk to women if he pleases he might even stay gone a few days. He actually brings up divorce quite often and asks me why I am still with him. I am 10 years older than him but I look younger than him, very youthful, healthy and not bad looking. He says I am very pretty and the only thing he does seem to like about being with me is the sex and I clean house and care for the kids well. I told him I married him for better or worse and I promised him and God to be a good wife and love him. I intend to keep my promise to him and God. Thinking something is wrong with me and to cover all bases I even rededicated my life to God and have stayed in prayer. I shared this with him and the fact I am doing everything to better myself and our marriage last night and he went in a complete outrage. He somehow turned it all around as a complete insult to him and told me God won't help me andI will get struck down. To him that is the way it works the better you do the more crap you are delt so why not just be bad. He said he won't conform to it and I just need to get my things and leave. Sex is all that is good and he can get that anywhere and he has even thought aboout going ahead and having sex with someone other than me. He thinks he might as well. I asked him has he cheated or if there is someone else and he said no but there might as well be. I am a basket case I don't know where all this is coming from and it hurts because he is so very serious and stern. Any ideas would be helpful and if there are none please pray.