02-20-2012, 02:14 PM
Join Date: May 2011
| | Re: Facebook Problem with Wife
Let me get this straight, the only thing you know that your wife is guilty of is spending too much time on FB and giving you the silent treatment? I don't think it is fair to not come home. She could really be just embarrassed that you picked up on her FB addiction. I think the best reaction on your part is to go home, but go about your own business. Tell her that you will be available to talk when she is ready to be totally open. If she is 100% innocent of any real wrong doing, then staying away from home will only build confusion and resentment on her part.
There is a saying that those who are suspicious and accusing of another's actions, are only so because they are already guilty themselves. My point is if you continue to punish her for something she may have not done, she may start to think that you have something to be guilty of yourself. Playing silent power games is not going to get anything accomplished. Communication is the key, you just have to get to her to come out of her silent mode on her own.
I understand that this Man-up approach does work in many situations, but I will give you a scenario if I were in your wife's shoes (assuming she is innocent of an EA of course). If my husband walked behind me right now, I would most likely minimize my screen. I am doing nothing wrong, but it doesn't mean that I want my husband to read everything I post on this site. In fact, I did a survey one time on here and found that most people on here keep this site a secret from their spouse. None of these people are doing anything wrong and most learn how to make their relationships better. Now if my husband were to get upset and start thinking I was doing something wrong and I reacted like your wife, the worst thing he could do is stay away. I would just stew and escalate the situation in my mind. Before I knew it, I would be trying to figure out how I would make it as a single mom because my husband has lost his mind and I don't think I would be able to live with a man who doesn't trust me when I have done nothing wrong. All it takes is one discussion with my husband and things clear up and those thoughts and feelings are history.
If you really do suspect malicious activities, then obviously you have to take a different route than what I am suggesting. Just remember 16 years is a lot of time to build trust and you don't want to tear it all down in one week.