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Old 02-16-2012, 05:22 PM   #76 (permalink)
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No suspect. The guy I didnt recognize is her 2nd cousin from California. now i remember who he is and even met him once years ago. barking up wrong tree there.
Get that logger installed ASAP.
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Old 02-16-2012, 05:24 PM   #77 (permalink)
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No suspect. The guy I didnt recognize is her 2nd cousin from California. now i remember who he is and even met him once years ago. barking up wrong tree there.
Hey - I'm from Mississippi - here he could very well be the culprit!!
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Old 02-16-2012, 05:37 PM   #78 (permalink)
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Alright guys I just got back from sneaking Web Watcher on her computer. I felt horrible the whole time as if I'm betraying her. I had to keep telling myself that I am not doing this to hurt my marriage, I am doing it to save it.

I'll let you guys know if I find anything.
Trust your instincts that something is wrong. You may just find that you've ignored your instincts for far too long.
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Old 02-16-2012, 05:50 PM   #79 (permalink)
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Fireplace Man - keylogger is a trust violation, you must determine whether it is warranted. Cool off first. Seems like it is in your case, but cool off first.

Also, most people use the same passwords for most things. Maybe ou can get her password for something else, or slyly start a password discussion. Or, call her when she is out, say your computer is not working and you want to borrow hers. She may auto log in or have the same log-on password for the computer as for FB. Careful though, if you log into her account, she may check to see the last logon.

My rule of thumb for snooping is reasonable cause, seems like you have it. Also, Almostrecovered, I think, likes to say that there is no secrecy in marriage, privacy is not the same thing. Privacy is "I'd like to be alone while I go to the bathroom" or "I need to talk to my friend about her marriage"; secrecy is doing something you do not know about. She may have private conversations - my friends tell me things about their spouses that they would not want my wife to know, but that they need to share - e.g., alcoholic. That is not my secret to share, it is my friend's. I do not say anything about her to anyone that I would not tell her I said.

Do not be suckered into a you violated my privacy discussion. She is being secretive, not private.
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Old 02-16-2012, 06:34 PM   #80 (permalink)
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So I see her on the computer and she logs on to facebook but the keylogger didn't pick up the password

I'm hoping it was just a missed recording and will get it later.

Anyway, it did pick up an instant message conversation between her an a close friend that had the friend asking if she is doing better. My wife says "not really, just taking it day by day" her friend says "What happenned?" I'm thinking jackpot baby, this is what I need. The next post was my wife asking "where did u go?" Her friend obviosly left the conversation. Damn.
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Old 02-16-2012, 06:54 PM   #81 (permalink)
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To both of you guys, use the key logger BUTdo not confront and never ever ever reveal your source of info,

The moment you confront they will deny and hide better.

Be 200% prepared before talking, have backups of everything saved outside the home.
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Old 02-16-2012, 07:18 PM   #82 (permalink)
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Yes we friended on FB and I looked at her friends many times lately. I can see at least 20 or so people that I didnt recognize. 7 males, never thougt at lookin too muchbefore. In the times I keep looking this week there is one guy always near the top of the group of 10 people u see as friends without clicking on the friends (364) thing where when u do all friends pop up in another screen. I do not know whi he is & when i clicked on him it said he only shares info with certain people.
Well needless to say save this list somewhere for later use.

FB is so dynamic in its change that there is no telling whether that grouping means anything but it just might. Put him on your watch list.

The keylogger is probably the way to go.

Yes, I hope this turns out to be just an obsession of hers that is not related to an affair. That said it is possible to catch something before it goes too far.

Chatting all day long with a guy and day afte day is not innocent. No matter what they discuss. I don't how gay he is ...
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Old 02-16-2012, 07:38 PM   #83 (permalink)
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To both of you guys, use the key logger BUTdo not confront and never ever ever reveal your source of info,

The moment you confront they will deny and hide better.

Be 200% prepared before talking, have backups of everything saved outside the home.
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There were two reasons I did it. 1) EA for which I definately confront and 2) hope to see an email or IM with a friend the will help me understand what my wife is not telling me.

On that note, I am watching a an IM exchange between my wife and a close friend. My timing could not have been better as she is making her friend aware of what is going on....and I feel like an ass.

It is all as she says it is with a little Paul bashing as well. She is telling her friend everything scewed towards me being an ass (which her friend called me). I am relieved and hopefully I can get more insight to understand what I might be able to do.
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Old 02-16-2012, 08:20 PM   #84 (permalink)
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Good luck Paul. I'm following your every move. I think I'm right behind you. Where did u get the key log? By the way got home from out to dinner an hour ago and Im writing this as she has made her 3rd trip to laptop in 40 minutes. All short tonight-like 10 mins each. Then comes back to watch a little tv, and bang up again. Havent walked in there yet but goin to as soon as i write this. I can see from here she is on FB.
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Old 02-16-2012, 09:05 PM   #85 (permalink)
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Good luck Paul. I'm following your every move. I think I'm right behind you. Where did u get the key log? By the way got home from out to dinner an hour ago and Im writing this as she has made her 3rd trip to laptop in 40 minutes. All short tonight-like 10 mins each. Then comes back to watch a little tv, and bang up again. Havent walked in there yet but goin to as soon as i write this. I can see from here she is on FB.
She's checking to see if "someone" has sent her a new message. Bet my bottom dollar.
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Old 02-16-2012, 09:16 PM   #86 (permalink)
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Good luck Paul. I'm following your every move. I think I'm right behind you. Where did u get the key log? By the way got home from out to dinner an hour ago and Im writing this as she has made her 3rd trip to laptop in 40 minutes. All short tonight-like 10 mins each. Then comes back to watch a little tv, and bang up again. Havent walked in there yet but goin to as soon as i write this. I can see from here she is on FB.
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Old 02-16-2012, 09:20 PM   #87 (permalink)
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Now I'm convinced. Just snuck in quietly and she moved and jumped like she saw a ghost. Was typing something on Facebook email. It looked long and she minimized page before I could see anything else. Didn't do anything but say goodnight. Making some moves tomorrow can't wait to hear from Paul on how he is doing with the logger.
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Old 02-16-2012, 09:30 PM   #88 (permalink)
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You could try a video camera in the area. Either your family camera if you have one and if you can conceal it well, or one of those Nanny Cam units hidden in a teddy bear or smoke detector, etc. It might show you her screen in enough detail, or at least you could see her password by how she types it in.

For now, cool it with your behavior! Don't make her paranoid that you are watching. She'll go deep underground if she thinks you are on to her.

If she is a deep sleeper you could get access to her computer in the middle of the night. But be very cautious that she is really asleep and that you will hear her coming if she wakes up.
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Old 02-16-2012, 09:31 PM   #89 (permalink)
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BTW, once you confront her on the computer she will change her behavior. So be sure you have gotten what you can before confrontation.
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Old 02-17-2012, 07:12 AM   #90 (permalink)
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I agree Thor. I pretty sure Im Going to try exactly what Paul did. Actually Im waiting to hear more of what Paul finds, but Im going to talk to a buddy who is into computers to help me get this thing installed. If I do I cant afford any screwups or detection-wanna have it done right with the best program there is.
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