General Relationship DiscussionAlthough anyone can post anywhere on Talk About Marriage, this section is for people interested in general relationship and marriage advice.
Just got the Webwatcher just like Paul. Have a sick feeling in my stomach for doing this. But her routine is right on cue again tonight. Just need to kno. Waiting for right time to install Posted via Mobile Device
Make sure you have about twenty minutes free. It took longer than advertised. It downloads and installs quickly but you might have to monkey with the anti-virus. Don't want you to get caught.
Good luck and I hope you get some answers. It might be hard to read, but you'll be relived to know the score. Keep us posted.
Play your card right and take a breath. You will be sickened by what you find, so please prepare your self.
Plan for the worst and work your plan. Keep your emotions in check, I will tell you this, when you get the info you need you will react to it in your typical way...Think...your best aproach will be one she least expects. Something that will command respect and make her think twice in what she is about to loose if she continues.
But you have to get the hard fact to play this hardball tactic.
Do not beg her to stop her emotional affair, but inform her you will not control her, she can do what she thinks is best for *her * marriage, but you will control in what you will tolorate and you can control who you want to be with.
Once you see the unbelievable, you will be an emotional wreck. Do not show her how weak you really feel, but show a perception of confidence that will make her think twice in what she wants out of this marriage and a perception of strength that will make her second guess your willingnes to move on with or without her if she continues.
Hopefully she will beg *you* to keep her around and when she tells you she is sorry and will doing anything for you to keep her, well then turn off her internet......her response to that remark will tell you how remorseful she really is.
As far as her bashing you to her friend, that doesn't indicate that there isn't anything else going on. My wife was having a serious EA, maybe even PA, and none of the people that we both know had a clue.
Hell, I don't know who knew outside of them. No matter what happens or what you find out, get some counseling and figure things out.
Geez my wife is talking sh!t like a dumbass right now. I'm trying to keep things in perspective but it is difficult when it is at my expense.
We had a GREAT day today. We both worked out, I surprised her with buying supplies to a couple of projects we have been talking about and then I accomplished them. And now shes talking crap about being smothered. Absolute bullsh!t. I spent half the day out of the house and the other half building sh!t. I know I'm not supposed to know this stuff but what the hell is she up to.
I have always been proud that she is my wife and would never condescend to shrinking her down to this size. I have given my life, my worth and my love to this woman and she is representing me as a low life a-hole to this friend. I can't even confront her due to the circumstances.
Please, someone talk me off of the fence right now.
I feel like she is going to say something that will be the last straw and I am going to snap. Tell me something, is it possible she is just appealing to a sympathetic ear or can she possibly be this dillusional about the circumstances?
OK last repeat post. What I love is how she is taliking sh!t on the new laptop I bought her a month ago as an early valentines day present since her old laptop was on the fritz. And when she is away, she can keep talking sh!t on the blackberry cellphone I bought her last valentines day while using the unlimited text messaging service I pay for exclusively for her. WTF???
I pay for EVERYTHING for this woman. Shes a stay at home mom, sleeps in, has the life of a princess meanwhile somehow I'm an a$$hole.
I just walked through the room and she has this clueless smirk on her face like I have no idea what is going on.
OK, I am seeing the potential of the situation. As pissed as I was, she's coming around. I am able to see what is pissing her off and turn it around. Tonight I read all sorts of sh!t about how I don't listen when she speaks ( which is not true but since she believes it is...) so I listened and the guard came down.
Hi Paul- glad to see that at least you are starting to see what is going on. I'm not as lucky as you yet. Have not got keylogger installed yet. Trouble overriding her antivirus protection. Keeps saying its detecting it. Not good. May have to have a pro try and install it from a remote location. By the way, last night five trips to laptop in 3 hrs. Was on it when I went to bed. Didnt say a word or show any isssue. I dont want give look that anything could be wrong. Just need help in installing this dam thing.
OK, I am seeing the potential of the situation. As pissed as I was, she's coming around. I am able to see what is pissing her off and turn it around. Tonight I read all sorts of sh!t about how I don't listen when she speaks ( which is not true but since she believes it is...) so I listened and the guard came down.
Accommodating her behavior will only make things worse in the long run. If you can establish that she's just unhappy, get the both of you into marriage counseling.
When you try to change to appease her, you're enabling her to continue. The best thing you can do is focus inward and give her someone to model her behavior off of.
OK, I am seeing the potential of the situation. As pissed as I was, she's coming around. I am able to see what is pissing her off and turn it around. Tonight I read all sorts of sh!t about how I don't listen when she speaks ( which is not true but since she believes it is...) so I listened and the guard came down.
Paul, definitely do not let her know you are monitoring her. Don't do or say anything immediately.
If nothing comes up about any kind of affairs, this is all very good news and something which you can use to rebuild your marriage into something great. Look at it as a positive.
I haven't read your other threads and don't have a feel for who you are or how you act within your marriage. Your comments about how you pay for everything and how you rode to the rescue when her laptop died might indicate you are too much of a rescuer. You might be doing too much caretaking.
Take a look at No More Mr. Nice Guy. The book is by Dr. Robert Glover. He has a website and forums at nomoremrniceguy.com/forums which you could look at and use as a support group. Also the book "The Way of the Superior Man" by David Deida might be helpful.
If I walked in, and she did the duck and cover, I would ask her straight out.
Is there a reason why you are hiding that from me?
If she says "Yes" the next question would be "Why".
If she says "No" the next thing I would say is "Great, let me look"
I'll just comment that I like this approach, direct and honest, as a marriage should be. My guess is she's flirting but left unchecked will certainly lead to resentment, arguments, and eventually justification and desire to follow through on the attention. Save yourself the pain, open the communication and sincerely explain that without trust the marriage is in jeopardy. That's no way to live and she shouldnt be making you feel this way. End of story. Edited: I only ready your first post and see quite a bit more now, happy to hear that's talking to you. Give her that attention and listen. I would also advise against trying to log her key strokes or spy on her.. You don't need proof of a crime to tell her how she makes you feel... Posted via Mobile Device
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Re: Facebook Problem with Wife 
