02-16-2012, 12:11 PM
Join Date: Feb 2012
| | Who is being unreasonable?
First off I'm new here and want to say hello to everyone.
A bit about myself and my relationship. I'm a 30 year old male who has been married for just about 5 years, we were together for 5 years before we got married. We have two young childeren who are amazing. Our relationship is very strong, the amount of times we have actually fought can be counted on one hand. We spend lots of time together and show a great amount of affection towards each other. We have had a few small ups and downs but I feel this is unavoidable in either a marrage or friendship that has been together for any length of time.
Now for the issue that has come up, or I should say continues to come up...Tattoos! A brief history here. I am a very strong and confident individual and I express myself in many ways including tattoos. When me and my wife met I had 4 tattoos, 1 large, 3 small. I also had 0g ear lobes, for those who dont know what this means...it's a hole about the size of your pinky. Now this didnt seem to be an issue because we hit it off and have never stopped. The problem with tattoos and to a lesser extent the earrings started after about 6 months when I told her about the other tattoo ideas I had for myself, to my shock she replied with "no way tattoos are gross", "I will leave you", etc. I thought this was rather odd but we were both pretty young and I just figured she would lighten up or she was overreacting. Well I was wrong, the subject continued to be brought up by me about every 5 or 6 months and always ended with the same result "tattoos are gross" "no way" "I will leave you" "I don't want to talk about it". Now I am not sure why I didn't just go out and get one but I haven't, I also removed my earrings but that was my choice. At one point she was asking me to have my existing ones removed, I put my foot down and said no way, they are very much a part of me and it hurts me a lot when she talks like that about them. A few times we actually got past the outright rejecting of the idea and discussed me getting a wedding band tattoo and also discussed a possible arm tattoo.
We had another "fight" about it last week when I brought it up again and her reaction again was "no way" "I will leave you" "I don't want to talk about it". I have now reached a point where I dont know what to do. I am very passionate about tattoo's, some of you may understand this, some may not. I am very frustrated and it's starting to strain on our relationship. Any advice would be appreciated.
Oh and for those interested the tattoos I am planning on getting are not small, one is a full sleeve, and one is a leg peice (knee to ankle). However they are very tastefull and she knows this. It's not like I want to get a bunch of naked women riding wolves while spitting fire tattooed on my arm.
Again thank you and good day.