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Old 02-20-2012, 01:29 PM   #16 (permalink)
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Default Re: Should I move in with bf or not?

You have KIDS? You have kids and you're contemplating moving in with someone you have only known 6 months and is ALREADY showing controlling behavior?

Holy crap.

You have children. They come first. Keep your dating life separate from your kids' lives until it's super serious (almost engaged) and you've known the guy for a long while. I dated a TON as a single mom--- no one met my kid.

Listen to your gut. ALWAYS in these situations.
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Old 02-20-2012, 01:55 PM   #17 (permalink)
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Default Re: Should I move in with bf or not?

Nope, I would end the relationship and find someone who does not try to control you. Control like that is abuse. You will live one miserable life if you choose to stay with this man.
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Old 02-20-2012, 02:06 PM   #18 (permalink)
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Default Re: Should I move in with bf or not?

He changed his mind because he is a control freak, and you put your foot down and made a decision on your own which took control power away from him. He's now re-configuring the game plan to accommodate his need for control. If you agree to his plan, you give him back his power.

Back off the move-in plan and even consider leaving this dude, you're looking at a very bad future with him. Ignore these warnings at your own peril, because controlling could just be the beginning...

You say he treats you better than any other man you've been with, but that doesn't make him a good man. It could be you just have really low standards that you would accept someone controlling in your life.

Good luck.
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Old 02-20-2012, 02:09 PM   #19 (permalink)
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Default Re: Should I move in with bf or not?

I think that nothing is lost by waiting to see where this relationship is going, and you could be very sorry if you become too enmeshed with a man who is wrong for you.
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Old 02-20-2012, 03:18 PM   #20 (permalink)
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Default Re: Should I move in with bf or not?

I think you are all right- I just dont want to see it. Its not that I have low standards, I just have always pick the wrong men, but have gotten seen that and left. And "thatgirl"- yes, we have children, and he was a friend for years before we started dating. So my kids already knew him. They love him, my oldest son is Autistic and I have never seen him open up to a man as much as he does my bf. So to see that end would be very sad to me.
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Old 02-20-2012, 03:20 PM   #21 (permalink)
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Default Re: Should I move in with bf or not?

Well, you now see what we see...you can't stay blind to it.

I used to do things like this and realized that whatever I was thinking was 'right' was actually wrong..so I would do the opposite of my instinct and it changed my life.

You have children WITH him? If not, then YOU have children, he doesn't.
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Old 02-20-2012, 03:37 PM   #22 (permalink)
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Default Re: Should I move in with bf or not?

No we both have boys from ex marriages
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Old 02-20-2012, 03:42 PM   #23 (permalink)
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Default Re: Should I move in with bf or not?

When my wife and I were dating she asked me how I felt about having a wife.

I told her I wasn`t crazy about the idea.


A year later we were married and have been pretty happy for the past 12 years.

People change
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Old 02-23-2012, 12:30 PM   #24 (permalink)
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Default Re: Should I move in with bf or not?

Quote:
Originally Posted by CandieGirl View Post
Honestly? Do not move in with this guy; if he really wants you tell him to put a ring on your finger first. He's already demonstrated that he's quite capable of changing his mind when things aren't going his way...
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Old 02-23-2012, 12:36 PM   #25 (permalink)
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Default Re: Should I move in with bf or not?

Quote:
Originally Posted by that_girl View Post
. If he's controlling NOW, he'll be crazy in a year.
Oh this post made me and it's true!

Ech--pay attention to the red flags. Why did you put a deposit down if you have all these reservations? Not ust that but how do you feel about him being controlling/not wanting you to hang with your friends. Why doesn't he like your friends/want you t obe around them and are you ok with that.

You have children. Why on earth would you want to move your CHILDREN in with someone you've only been dating 6 months who you say is controlling/doesn't want you around your friends???
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Old 02-23-2012, 03:38 PM   #26 (permalink)
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Default Re: Should I move in with bf or not?

Quote:
Originally Posted by tacoma View Post
When my wife and I were dating she asked me how I felt about having a wife.

I told her I wasn`t crazy about the idea.


A year later we were married and have been pretty happy for the past 12 years.

People change
Were you controlling and showing red flags too while dating?

I don't understand why people waste so much time on others while dating. If it's not working, if you feel uneasy, move on and find another! That's the beauty of dating
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Old 02-23-2012, 03:55 PM   #27 (permalink)
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Default Re: Should I move in with bf or not?

Its hard enough to blend a family with a marriage involved. You didn't say how old your son was but if your son will be living with you two while your not married then you can't do it. I'm not religous or moralizing here. This is a practical matter. If your son is still a child its not fair to start a pseudo family that will most likely fail (20%-30% chance at best). If your son knows that your man will not commit he will eventually lose respect for him and this will generate conflict in your home. The boy may lose respect for you as well if your not treated well. The fact that you say your man is controlling will only help to make matters worse since he will want to control the boy. Justifying this by asking a child if this arrangement is OK is simply ridiculous. What does a child know about anything? Does your boy really understand how he will be affected in the long run? Its not possible. My mother made this mistake a couple of times. I became angry and eventually lost respect for my mother for letting it happen. It was life altering and irreversible. Don't be selfish.
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