General Relationship DiscussionAlthough anyone can post anywhere on Talk About Marriage, this section is for people interested in general relationship and marriage advice.
Incredibly sexy girl, a bit too good looking for me even. I loved her alot, and put her on the highest pedestle you could imagine.
Well she met this "badass" guy, with alot of tatto's, and a dont give a fk attitude. gets any girl he wants. She told me she was interested in him. I tried to be strong, but I ended up collapsing more and more, the more time she spent with him. I couldnt hold back the tears, I couldnt keep from smothering her with affection and love, and telling her how much I wanted her. The whole time the badboy played it cool, pretended like she meant nothing to him. The more affection and love I showed, and the less he showed, the less she seemed attracted to me and the more she wanted him.
I guess im wondering if this is something psychological with women. Should I not be such a wimpy loving guy? I know for sure I should have been stronger with her, but it was like I thought of her as my best friend and not as a woman. I thought if I showed her my tenderest feelings for her, that she would realize what she had, but I feel like being tender with her after she told me she was interested in someone, was basically like saying 'you have complete power over me, I love you' and that she preceeded to walk all over me, because she was attracted to the fact that the bad-boy didn't really give a **** about her, because he could get anyone, and she wanted somehow to validate herself with that challenge, rather than love me, whom she had already conquered completely.
What should I take from this? any comment? I'm going to work on being stronger obviously. But should I really act like I don't care? That would have been out of the question with this girl, she was my whole world, but next time, does not caring really work?
When badboy is done using her, if she comes back show her the door. She didn't deserve you. When I'm ready to start dating again I would kill to find a guy like you. Just look on the bright side, you had fun for a year. At least you didn't marry the bimbo or have any kids with her.
and sometimes the women want a little excitement in their lives.
Maybe you were smothering her to much, have you dated other women besides her? you should start dating again if not.
When I met my wife, we were both in college and it was summer time, so we decided when we started dating that it would be a "summer fling" and that is all....no pressure no worries....now 19 years later....arried 12 of them and 3 kids.
But part of the lure was I gave her "freedom" I had no need to control her, nor her control me. We would talk all the time since we went to schools in different states, plus I also enlisted in teh Army and Drove across country...we were young and had alot going on. We were in no rush.
So she would tell me she was going to a sority party to have a wild time, I would say cool, give a call later and tell me about it.
She liked I did not get jealous or tried to control her.
I never treated her bad, I respected her.
You two just might no be right for each other, I learned treating a woman like a goddess will back fire. You can do that after you get married.
She is drawn to his confidence and his tough exterior.
If you were to say, "later" and start dating around she may think twice about what happened.
My wife dumped me in College for a while, her friend convinced her to "move on" so she dumped me, I was Like, "Ok just bring my stuff back to me when you get home from College for the semester" she dumped me in February....Then came May, she realized what she had lost, she wanted me back, but I would have no part of it, I was just like give me my stuff so I can move on. When she finally dropped off my stuff, she was torn...she wanted me back desperately, and I made her work for it, becuase I was to busy hanging out with my friends planning a cross country trip.....I didn't care.
She finally convinced me to go back on a date with her, which was fine becuase I had always loved her, but I wasn't going to make it easy....
well we went on our date...and she never let me go after that...once she realized what she had lost....she never wanted to feel that way again.....of course I was dying to be with her.
it's a brutal game, let her go, move on....if it is love ti will find a way to work itself out, if not you will find another woman that is worthy of you.
Easy to say but move on. She will be eying up her bad boy's buddies soon enough, you just picked a dud. Bad boy or computer geek that girl is a dime a dozen. You had her for a year had your fun, then had to pass her along, that's life but know she isn't the one for you.
not all girls are into badboys. every girl i know who hooked up w/ a badboy now work crappy jobs, have more than 2 kids w/ more than 2 badboys, and are basically losers. is that the kind of girl you want? i know it sucks losing the 1 you love, but you can find a better girl now
Attraction is a powerful force which sometimes is not logical from a proper relationship perspective. Obviousl for some reason, that guy has it and lets not criticize him because it does not really help your situation at all...
More importantly, putting a girl on a pedestal is NOT attractive. And the more you try to please her, the more she gets to enjoy but that does not mean that she will go closer to you or getting more attracted to you.
I do not know if the girl will be back. However, you can start to be more 'Attractive' by learning to stand on your own two feet, to be strong, confident, purposeful etc. And girls also love guys who are funny too.
And once you are able to establish that, there will be many girls out there who wants you.... AND APPRECIATE YOU....
First "real love" is always painful when it ends. But her looking elsewhere, simply means, you weren't meant to be together!
As much as it hurts, move on, start dating, make new friends, surround yourself with people who loves you and appreciates you. It's her loss .... and one day, you will find someone who will love you for your gentle heart, your kindness and your love!
Strong alpha males are attractive to many women, sensitive beta males are just seen as providers and baby sitters, at least to the women that cheat, which this one did.
Lost her to a badboy, any comments? 
