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Old 02-21-2012, 11:21 AM   #16 (permalink)
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Default Re: Wife Called Me A Coward..

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I don't think you were a coward.

Still, my wife would be offended if the catcalls went to the level of telling her that she had a fine a$$. I would just tell the guys that they need to tone it down. That's all. Usually, if there are several, their attention, and insults, turn to me, and this doesn't bother me. Of course, my response depends on location, assuming you are not in a place you should've avoided in the first place.
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Old 02-21-2012, 11:33 AM   #17 (permalink)
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You haven't defended her in the past, have you?
defended her how? fought for her? if that's what you're asking then no i haven't..

but she has always been independent of mind, and doesn't need me to stick up for her most times. but this time was different, like she flipped the switch on me and now she's all pissed off
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Old 02-21-2012, 11:40 AM   #18 (permalink)
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Default Re: Wife Called Me A Coward..

You can not win in these situations. I think you handled it just fine. Your wife needs to grow up. The three guys that made the comments were the real cowards. These are the type of guys that have nothing and stand for nothing.

Would any of the three guys have made these comments if they were alone? Doubt it.
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Old 02-21-2012, 11:41 AM   #19 (permalink)
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Someone who asks to have her honor defended has no honor. Honor is something you have or do not have, it needs no protection. Her physical safety is what you should protect. Fighting 3 guys would leave her unprotected. She is an immature dolt that is testing you.
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Old 02-21-2012, 11:48 AM   #20 (permalink)
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Default Re: Wife Called Me A Coward..

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defended her how? fought for her? if that's what you're asking then no i haven't..

but she has always been independent of mind, and doesn't need me to stick up for her most times. but this time was different, like she flipped the switch on me and now she's all pissed off
She does need you to stick up for her, if she didn't, her reaction would have been vastly different than what it was in this situation.
I am not suggesting that you should have taken on 3 dudes, not at all. I am however letting you know why she called you a coward and this was her breaking point. You haven't shown in the past that you were willing to stand up for her (either physically or verbally) and that is why her response was the way it was.
She doesn't feel secure anymore.
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Old 02-21-2012, 11:53 AM   #21 (permalink)
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Default Re: Wife Called Me A Coward..

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because I supposedly didnt 'defend her honor'.

while walking out of a movie theater to my car these three guys made some comments about her, basically hooting and hollering saying she was hot and had a nice ass or whatever. We just ignored them and went on our way. She says one of them was cat-calling but I don't remember hearing it. When driving home she asked me why I didn't say anything to 'defend her honor'. I guess she expected me to fight these three guys to prove I cared for her or something. I tried to explain to her that this is real life and three-on-one is almost a guaranteed trip to the hospital but she's still a little pissed at me for not doing anything. honestly, what did she want me to do? take them all on at once? I told her maybe if she dressed more appropriately men would have more respect for her. It's not my fault she dresses like a **** sometimes..

to the ladies of this board: how would you want your man to react in this situation?

to the men: how would you react to this situation?
If you had fought three guys over that, she'd be calling you stupid, and maybe jealous too.

Gee, I've had guys slow down and holler and hoot and stare just in my long shorts and sandals and a demure top. I usually just wave and smile. What's the harm in critique, so long as it's honest and admirable? It's the creeps who undress you during business meetings or worse in a dentist's chair that you need to be concerned of, not the people who just tell it like it is. Not like they were gonna gang-rape her or something.
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Old 02-21-2012, 11:56 AM   #22 (permalink)
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Default Re: Wife Called Me A Coward..

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defended her how? fought for her? if that's what you're asking then no i haven't..

but she has always been independent of mind, and doesn't need me to stick up for her most times. but this time was different, like she flipped the switch on me and now she's all pissed off
I think for some women,defend doesn't always mean whoop ass. However, as I said on the first page in that particular situation I think you handled it correctly. With 3 other men against you, you never know.

For some women its a reassurance of love and importance for her man to some to her defense sometimes. There is difference between fighting someone elses battles and coming to someones defense at times.
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Old 02-21-2012, 12:28 PM   #23 (permalink)
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Default Re: Wife Called Me A Coward..

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I think for some women,defend doesn't always mean whoop ass. However, as I said on the first page in that particular situation I think you handled it correctly. With 3 other men against you, you never know.

For some women its a reassurance of love and importance for her man to some to her defense sometimes. There is difference between fighting someone elses battles and coming to someones defense at times.
With the exception of Jamison, everybody here missed what this was really about. It wasn't about a guy unwilling to get his ass kicked by 3 dudes, it was about a woman who has not been defended in the past, either physically or verbally. It also wasn't about honor, it's about a woman feeling comfortable and secure knowing that her husband will stand up for her. Had that happened in the past, her reaction would have been of laughter and shrugging it off. It wasn't.
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Old 02-21-2012, 12:32 PM   #24 (permalink)
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Default Re: Wife Called Me A Coward..

I think the question you need to ask yourself is why are you going out with a woman who dresses like a *****. You obviously donít like it, it does have repercussions and yet you tolerate it and go out with her. Reckon you should have more respect for yourself even if your wife doesnít.



On top of all that your woman is crazy enough to think you should have pitched in three against one. And again I think you need to ask yourself just what are you doing with such a woman who would urge you into a potentially harmful, life threatening situation.


She sure doesn't sound like a keeper to me.
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Old 02-21-2012, 12:35 PM   #25 (permalink)
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Default Re: Wife Called Me A Coward..

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With the exception of Jamison, everybody here missed what this was really about. It wasn't about a guy unwilling to get his ass kicked by 3 dudes, it was about a woman who has not been defended in the past, either physically or verbally. It also wasn't about honor, it's about a woman feeling comfortable and secure knowing that her husband will stand up for her. Had that happened in the past, her reaction would have been of laughter and shrugging it off. It wasn't.
It was something I had to learn over the years though. I used to not do that until it was brought to my attention and was explained to me by the woman I was dating what she truly meant.

I also think most women can fight their own battles, but I do think SOMETIMES they want to at least hear their man stand up for them on an occasion.
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Old 02-21-2012, 12:42 PM   #26 (permalink)
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Default Re: Wife Called Me A Coward..

I think maybe all she wanted was you to say something. I also do not think she realized at the time that when she wanted you to say something, that it was possible you could get jumped by three other guys, I doubt that crossed her mind, although anything is possible.
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Old 02-21-2012, 12:43 PM   #27 (permalink)
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Default Re: Wife Called Me A Coward..

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I think the question you need to ask yourself is why are you going out with a woman who dresses like a *****. You obviously don’t like it, it does have repercussions and yet you tolerate it and go out with her. Reckon you should have more respect for yourself even if your wife doesn’t.



On top of all that your woman is crazy enough to think you should have pitched in three against one. And again I think you need to ask yourself just what are you doing with such a woman who would urge you into a potentially harmful, life threatening situation.


She sure doesn't sound like a keeper to me.
i'm not the type of guy to keep his girl on a tight leash and order her around everywhere. like i said, when i met her she was independent of mind and i respected that about her. we're still young, so she dresses a little provocatively here and there, but since this was the first time she got harassed for it (in front of me at least) i suggested she tone it down a little bit. it was never really a problem before.

and the fact that she got pissed at me for not defending her took me a bit by surprise because she never acted like this before
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Old 02-21-2012, 12:48 PM   #28 (permalink)
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Default Re: Wife Called Me A Coward..

Maybe she should have called them out herself. Told them a thing or two.

1.Would that make you feel upset, angry and emasculated?
2.Relieved she did it so you wouldn't have to?
3.Or not care one way or the other?
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Old 02-21-2012, 12:48 PM   #29 (permalink)
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Default Re: Wife Called Me A Coward..

I would have taken the calls as compliments meant for me and smiled and thanked them, maybe winking.

I've been in violent situations and taking on three guys is something best left for movies. It's almost guaranteed to end with you getting your head kicked in while you lie on the ground groaning--like happened to my uncle in exactly this situation.

If you don't like how your wife dresses, you need to address this. If your wife feels like she is not getting enough attention from you, you need to address this. If your wife feels like you are not alpha enough and wants to see you do something manly, you need to address this. There are issues underlying this situation that indicate something deeper than what happened on the surface.
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Old 02-21-2012, 12:52 PM   #30 (permalink)
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Default Re: Wife Called Me A Coward..

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Maybe she should have called them out herself. Told them a thing or two.

1.Would that make you feel upset, angry and emasculated?
2.Relieved she did it so you wouldn't have to?
3.Or not care one way or the other?
if she would've called them out i would have backed her up
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