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Old 02-21-2012, 12:53 PM   #31 (permalink)
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Default Re: Wife Called Me A Coward..

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I think the question you need to ask yourself is why are you going out with a woman who dresses like a *****. You obviously don’t like it, it does have repercussions and yet you tolerate it and go out with her. Reckon you should have more respect for yourself even if your wife doesn’t.


He liked it just fine when she left the house dressed like that. It didn't become an issue until after his manhood was questioned.

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Old 02-21-2012, 12:57 PM   #32 (permalink)
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It was something I had to learn over the years though. I used to not do that until it was brought to my attention and was explained to me by the woman I was dating what she truly meant.

I also think most women can fight their own battles, but I do think SOMETIMES they want to at least hear their man stand up for them on an occasion.
You got it but let's just toss that wisdom aside and call her crazy, okay?
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Old 02-21-2012, 12:59 PM   #33 (permalink)
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I told her maybe if she dressed more appropriately men would have more respect for her. It's not my fault she dresses like a **** sometimes..
Well your actions at the time were perfectly correct, but your remark above was certainly unfortunate.

Just as a general observation, there's all kinds of opportunites in everday life to defend your wife / girlfriend that don't involve an unfair fight where you would need to kill or seriously injure someone just to avoid a similar outcome yourself

Auto mechanics love to rip women off. When I'm too busy to take a car in for something that I'm not equipped to do at home, my wife sometimes takes the car in herself. They always try to tell her that things I've just recently service/replaced are worn out and need fixing.

It's an excellent setup to very publicly defend her in terms that 'shimmer in the air.'
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Old 02-21-2012, 01:11 PM   #34 (permalink)
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With the exception of Jamison, everybody here missed what this was really about. It wasn't about a guy unwilling to get his ass kicked by 3 dudes, it was about a woman who has not been defended in the past, either physically or verbally. It also wasn't about honor, it's about a woman feeling comfortable and secure knowing that her husband will stand up for her. Had that happened in the past, her reaction would have been of laughter and shrugging it off. It wasn't.
With respect, I think the situation is more complex than this. Most married men don't stay silent because we are more worried about ourself. We often still take upon ourself the fear for the safety of our wife, just as she fears for ours, but there is also a desire to do the right thing for her protection. She shouldn't dismiss this so casually.

My wife trusts me to protect her when we are in the city. Its an extreme situation, but even though she followed my lead and tried to ignore a couple of guys in a national park, I still had to defend us when they pulled out their knives and ordered her to go into the woods. I put one of them in the hospital with my favorite walking stick, and scared the other one away because he thought I had gone postal. I grew up in a bad place, and could tell that these guys were bad business. She trusts me to make the right call when situations arise. But what is important to me is that such tests as this would be beneath her, out of respect for me.

The OP wasn't just fearful for himself. He feared for the safety of his wife. At the end of the day, many of us can deal with the lumps that come along if the situation turns bad for us, but putting our wife in danger is not something we want to use as a relationship test.
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Old 02-21-2012, 01:17 PM   #35 (permalink)
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i'm not the type of guy to keep his girl on a tight leash and order her around everywhere. like i said, when i met her she was independent of mind and i respected that about her. we're still young, so she dresses a little provocatively here and there, but since this was the first time she got harassed for it (in front of me at least) i suggested she tone it down a little bit. it was never really a problem before.

and the fact that she got pissed at me for not defending her took me a bit by surprise because she never acted like this before
You just think on guys like that as total ****heads and move on. No way do you ever get involved with them. You don’t interact with them in anyway whatsoever. You just don’t do that.


Your wife is totally stupid thinking you should have done anything else. She’s supposed to be on your side and that does not include encouraging you take on three guys.



If you wife was in physical danger then it’s totally different. But even then you still ensure you get her away from the scene as quickly as you can.
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Old 02-21-2012, 01:17 PM   #36 (permalink)
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She does need you to stick up for her, if she didn't, her reaction would have been vastly different than what it was in this situation.
I am not suggesting that you should have taken on 3 dudes, not at all. I am however letting you know why she called you a coward and this was her breaking point. You haven't shown in the past that you were willing to stand up for her (either physically or verbally) and that is why her response was the way it was.She doesn't feel secure anymore.
I think it would be useful for the OP to confirm this. He says he has not fought for her physically, but has the opportunity come up. Has he stood up for her verbally? If so, how?
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Old 02-21-2012, 01:20 PM   #37 (permalink)
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With respect, I think the situation is more complex than this. Most married men don't stay silent because we are more worried about ourself. We often still take upon ourself the fear for the safety of our wife, just as she fears for ours, but there is also a desire to do the right thing for her protection. She shouldn't dismiss this so casually.

My wife trusts me to protect her when we are in the city. Its an extreme situation, but even though she followed my lead and tried to ignore a couple of guys in a national park, I still had to defend us when they pulled out their knives and ordered her to go into the woods. I put one of them in the hospital with my favorite walking stick, and scared the other one away because he thought I had gone postal. I grew up in a bad place, and could tell that these guys were bad business. She trusts me to make the right call when situations arise. But what is important to me is that such tests as this would be beneath her, out of respect for me.

The OP wasn't just fearful for himself. He feared for the safety of his wife. At the end of the day, many of us can deal with the lumps that come along if the situation turns bad for us, but putting our wife in danger is not something we want to use as a relationship test.
You missed my point entirely, which is rare for you.
I am NOT referring to this situation. One guy on three is ridiculous. No way would he have "won". What I AM saying is that he has clearly shown in the past that he wouldn't stand up for her and he said as much. Had he in the past came to her defense, no sensible woman would have wanted him to engage 3 jerks. Not one.
Does anybody here REALLY think this was about 3 guys who heckled her or can you see the larger picture and her extreme reaction? Wow.
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Old 02-21-2012, 01:21 PM   #38 (permalink)
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You can not win in these situations. I think you handled it just fine. Your wife needs to grow up. The three guys that made the comments were the real cowards. These are the type of guys that have nothing and stand for nothing.

Would any of the three guys have made these comments if they were alone? Doubt it.
Punks like that NEVER act alone. The OP made the right move. People watch too many action films. A three on one situation means the ONE ends up in a hospital 99% of the time.

Calling you a coward is going to have some long lasting repercussions unless you're the type that let's things roll right off your shoulders.
I think a long discusion with the wife is due.
First up - Why is she still dressing like she's on the hunt?
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Old 02-21-2012, 01:23 PM   #39 (permalink)
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I think it would be useful for the OP to confirm this. He says he has not fought for her physically, but has the opportunity come up. Has he stood up for her verbally? If so, how?
He wrote that he hasn't and that she can stand up for herself. Even before I read that, I didn't need to. No woman reacts the way she did unless she has been left to her own accord many, many times.
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Old 02-21-2012, 01:25 PM   #40 (permalink)
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Punks like that NEVER act alone. The OP made the right move. People watch too many action films. A three on one situation means the ONE ends up in a hospital 99% of the time.

Calling you a coward is going to have some long lasting repercussions unless you're the type that let's things roll right off your shoulders.
I think a long discusion with the wife is due.
First up - Why is she still dressing like she's on the hunt?
In all fairness, she called him a coward, but he kind of insulted her as well for how she was dressed.

I am married and a lot of times when I go out with my H I dress a little provocative for him, I want him to think I'm hot!!! I'm married, not dead!!!! And plus he kinda likes when I get attention from other people because it makes him feel good, they want me, he's got me
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Old 02-21-2012, 01:48 PM   #41 (permalink)
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Seriously! Are we supposed to dress like nuns now that we are spoken for? I think not. The only man who ever told me how to dress was my dad...and I was 16.
You're a trollop, you hussy you.
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Old 02-21-2012, 02:05 PM   #42 (permalink)
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You're a trollop, you hussy you.

Kettle - Pot! You Strumpet. It's obvious from your avatar that your skirt is hemmed way too high. Bare calves, how trashy.
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Old 02-21-2012, 02:08 PM   #43 (permalink)
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Kettle - Pot! You Strumpet. It's obvious from your avatar that your skirt is hemmed way too high. Bare calves, how trashy.
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Old 02-21-2012, 02:10 PM   #44 (permalink)
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your wife is starving for attention. she has issues not you. 3 on 1 .. no thanks. and any woman worth her salt would not want her man in that postition unless it was necessary.... and a few cat calls does not make it necessary .
Actually depending on the circumstances a man getting into a fight with a group of men doing this is risking the woman's safety. She could be assaulted or even raped.

My first thought in any potential conflict is my wife's safety. Circumstances matter. In most cases safety is not an issue, but I always interject myself between my wife and any "inappropriate" confrontation. I will always draw fire to myself. How I do that depends on the circumstances. Assess the real motivations of what is happening. How is this likely to escalate. Are there any weapons about and so on. What are the risks involved and so on. That said, going by past behavior, I would have said something. Then they have to reassess. I am generally pretty focused, calm and firm in these type of circumstances. The intended message is really a question. How bad do you want this? But I would never put my wife in jeopardy.

Last edited by Entropy3000; 02-21-2012 at 02:38 PM.
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Old 02-21-2012, 02:21 PM   #45 (permalink)
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Kettle - Pot! You Strumpet. It's obvious from your avatar that your skirt is hemmed way too high. Bare calves, how trashy.
Damn it! Forgot strumpet! The BEST word in the English language......ever. It is an insult, truly and yet reminds me of crumpet, a wonderful and delightful faux English muffin.
Pass me the butter!
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