General Relationship DiscussionAlthough anyone can post anywhere on Talk About Marriage, this section is for people interested in general relationship and marriage advice.
Regardless, he told her she was asking for it because she dressed like a ****. Real nice. I wouldn't feel bad for calling him a coward after that comment.
If he had a problem with the way she was dressed, he should have asked her to change before they left the house. Although, I highly doubt her clothes or his lack of verbally reprimanding said cat callers are the real issue here. It says a lot that both spouses would be willing to stoop to such lows to hurt the other.
I just want to go on the record to state that I do not know the OP and while I will "protect" my wife, I will not protect him.
I like my wife to dress sexy ... not like a hooker mind you and would never use that as an excuse for .... anything. So no he gets no free pass. That said, there are women who say that the man has zero say so on how they dress. <grenade/> That is another thread.
He wrote that he has not physically fought for her and that she is independent. Both are true for my wife and I, yet I have stood up for her physically and verbally.
I have also seen a woman criticize her boyfriend for standing up for her, because she "wasn't a little girl and could take care of herself." I want to know whether the OP has made any attempts to stand up for his wife in the past.
He wrote that he hasn't stood up for her. Either way, I am telling you as a woman that the reason she reacted the way she did, is because he HASN'T stood up for her before. Slice it, dice it anyway you want. Him telling her she dressed like a skank is just the final nail in his coffin of respect.
He wrote that he hasn't stood up for her. Either way, I am telling you as a woman that the reason she reacted the way she did, is because he HASN'T stood up for her before. Slice it, dice it anyway you want. Him telling her she dressed like a skank is just the final nail in his coffin of respect.
So you are saying there are bigger issues and this was just a trigger? A hit close to home trigger?
From what I read, the OP's wife criticized him first, before he said anything about how she dressed. And he didn't call her names, as far as I read it (he did that in his post, though). He said she should dress more appropriately. Not quite the same thing.
I think some of the ladies here are twisting the flow of events to suit their agendas.
From what I read, the OP's wife criticized him first, before he said anything about how she dressed. And he didn't call her names, as far as I read it (he did that in his post, though). He said she should dress more appropriately. Not quite the same thing.
I think some of the ladies here are twisting the flow of events to suit their agendas.
Well whatever he said she dressed like got edited out...so I don't think it was something nice...
Well whatever he said she dressed like got edited out...so I don't think it was something nice...
Yes, but I think that he didn't say it to her; he just wrote it here. And he didn't say anything about her clothing choices until after she'd criticized him first. That's important, because women here are saying that she called him names after he called her names.
From what I read, the OP's wife criticized him first, before he said anything about how she dressed. And he didn't call her names, as far as I read it (he did that in his post, though). He said she should dress more appropriately. Not quite the same thing.
I think some of the ladies here are twisting the flow of events to suit their agendas.
So she left the house wearing a robe and slippers and once they got to their destination, she tossed it all off and said "Ta Da" and he was shocked that she had that on in the first place?
Yeah, didn't think so.
Yes, but I think that he didn't say it to her; he just wrote it here. And he didn't say anything about her clothing choices until after she'd criticized him first. That's important, because women here are saying that she called him names after he called her names.
Nobody here is saying that. What I am saying is that her reaction comes from not being defended in the past. Period. Don't lump me in to some category like I said something I didn't. I have maintained during this entire thread that this is just a sliver of a larger issue and yet men seem to focus on what she was wearing, including the OP.
... and yet men seem to focus on what she was wearing, including the OP.
Isn't that natural for us guys? We only care what they're wearing, right? I was wondering if she was confident enough to pull off a fuschia skirt in the winter? Or maybe open toes? I do pastels on Thursdays, but its because we do Miami Thursday in my work group....
From what I read, the OP's wife criticized him first, before he said anything about how she dressed. And he didn't call her names, as far as I read it (he did that in his post, though). He said she should dress more appropriately. Not quite the same thing.
I think some of the ladies here are twisting the flow of events to suit their agendas.
shhhhhh. They'll know we're on to them. Posted via Mobile Device
Nobody is saying she called him a coward after he told her to dress more appropriately. All I said was that I wouldn't feel even slightly apologetic for calling him a coward after he said that little comment. Meaning that if I had called you a coward in the heat of the moment because 'whatever' was bothering me, I definitely feel justified now that you have basically told me that I was asking for it by dressing what you deem "inappropriate". It just proves that you really are a coward because they only way you can even defend yourself is by deflecting and taking pot shots.
No, he did not (at least based on the current state of the posts). He said the following:
defended her how? fought for her? if that's what you're asking then no i haven't..
but she has always been independent of mind, and doesn't need me to stick up for her most times. but this time was different, like she flipped the switch on me and now she's all pissed off
I don't read that to me that he has not ever stood up for her. I only read it to be that he has not physically fought for her.
Quote:
Either way, I am telling you as a woman that the reason she reacted the way she did, is because he HASN'T stood up for her before. Slice it, dice it anyway you want. Him telling her she dressed like a skank is just the final nail in his coffin of respect.
While I don't necessarily disagree, I have seem first hand women who don't want their man to stick up for them. I want to know the full facts, not just read them into some terse posts, before reaching a conclusion.
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Re: Wife Called Me A Coward.. 
