PooDoo

Have you asked her about the $12k? It's not about the $ per se (although $12k is a lot of $!) but why the secrecy? You definately have a unique situation. I hope all this turns out to make your marriage better. Sometimes we need a few steps backward to shake us out of a rut/pattern (or whatever) for things to get better. The not-so-good times will make the good/great times that much better.

Your situation - just reminded me of the old Billy Joel song - "She's always a woman"

Paulination

I haven't asked. She doesn't know I know. Instead of just reacting I am taking my time with it. I know the money is there and it has been for a long time. I don't feel the need to rush this. I am going to see how MC works out and just observe my marriage to get a sense of why she would lie about it. I'm hoping the right time will present itself and I'll knw it when I see it.

PooDoo

How your'e handling it is probably best. When(if) she eventually tells you, it will be good sign of a change of heart.

Paulination

Well another breakthrough tonight. Shes had her first orgasms (3) with me since this whole thing began. She came close a couple of times before but tonight she went wild.

We have MC tomorrow and I was going to let her have it on a couple of things. I feel like I should be more gentle. Don't want to mess with the karma.

Paulination

Well I was the one getting hammered today. Several people on this forum have pointed out that I exhibet controlling behavior from time to time and I totally disagreed (even if I don't say it). Well there seems to be something to that since the MC took what I thought were reasonable behaviors on my part and showed me otherwise. It was a tough session but a good one.

My wife confirmed that she is still in love with me, wants the passion and the closeness of a healthy marriage and wants it to be with me. Alot to build on.

dymo

This may just be a stray, paranoid thought. Might not even be worth thinking about.

Did you actually meet her toxic FB friend during her visit? Are we sure she is who you think it is? Could she actually be a he? Some cheaters communicate with guys using fake girl names. It would explain why she did not want you taking them out to dinner.
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Paulination

I know exactly who she is. She used to live here but moved away 4 years ago. She has a disfunctional relationship with her husband who happens to be a dorky fat guy. She has had many problems with him in the past and I feel she gets off on my wife having problems of her own.

PooDoo

I've got the same problem - thinking I'm obviously right. It's been a big obsacle. What 'controlling behavior' came up in MC?
Sounds like things are going good!

chapparal

Can you be more specific? As in controlling as opposed to having boundaries. Or is this a completly different issue?

Paulination

Questioning her too often about what she does and who she texts with, wanting her to call when she is coming home from soccer so I have an idea of when she'll be home. I always felt the questioning is mere curiosity and the phone call was a courtesy but it apparently is me being controlling.

Funny how I leave MC with a list of stuff to work on and my wifes list consists of stuff she'll do once she feels like it (in reaction to my list).

chapparal

If this is correctly stated, I think your MC is off base.

Ridiculous really.

What did MC say about her wanting to not have sex a awhile back? MC a man or woman?

Beowulf

Ummm, I ask Morrigan all the time what she is up to. She texts me when she gets to work and when she leaves so I know she's safe. I don't consider that controlling. Must be that rampant codependency B.S. that today's counselors are spewing.

the guy

Ya my fWW calls me before and after work so as to make sure I"M safe. LOL

I guess I'm still healing.


Sorry for the threadjack p-

Paulination

Since we have been having sex, it really hasn't come up. The problem is that my recollections of things are different then my wifes. What I see (and know) as me being curious, to her is an interrogation. It comes out that way in counceling and when I defend myself, I am "defensive". The MC then councels based on my wifes interpretations and I come out with a list of stuff to work on.

I sound bitter, I know. I'm really not. I have learned some things so theres that but at the same time, there is not that much left for me to do. My wife at that point will be left with no choice but to do her share and at the very least will be on the hot seat to explain why she hasn't.

MC is a women BTW.