General Relationship DiscussionAlthough anyone can post anywhere on Talk About Marriage, this section is for people interested in general relationship and marriage advice.
Re: Stay-at-Home Wives: What do you do all day? (What should they do?)
Quote:
Originally Posted by CrazyGuy
Stay at home Mom should be just that. STAY AT HOME. Do the work that needs done at home first.
If there are two able bodied people in the marriage, then they should both provide what is needed for their household and family. If the man takes care of the finances, then the woman takes care of the house. I don't agree with wives who exploit their husbands as banks to support their daily lunch trips and then expect their husbands to help with all the housework.
Marriage is partnership. Balance is the key so nobody becomes resentful. In reality, some people are just lazier than others.
Re: Stay-at-Home Wives: What do you do all day? (What should they do?)
I vacuum.
It takes all day.
LOL.
Not really, but I have an official list that I give to people if they ask.
Otherwise, I don't feel the need to justify my existence.
At home or anywhere.
I would be leery of giving an answer...say it would feed into someone else's perception of what they should be doing or their stay-home spouse should be doing...and if I give an answer for one day, then that could become someone else's 'gold standard' and that would be wrong. I think people who are at home should be able to make their own decisions about the proper and right use of their time.
If people fill up their time with should-do's, none of the would-do's or could-do's or why-not-do's that are so valuable to our society, would happen.
I vacuum. Really!!!!
Re: Stay-at-Home Wives: What do you do all day? (What should they do?)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Homemaker_Numero_Uno
I vacuum.
It takes all day.
LOL.
Not really, but I have an official list that I give to people if they ask.
Otherwise, I don't feel the need to justify my existence.
At home or anywhere.
I would be leery of giving an answer...say it would feed into someone else's perception of what they should be doing or their stay-home spouse should be doing...and if I give an answer for one day, then that could become someone else's 'gold standard' and that would be wrong. I think people who are at home should be able to make their own decisions about the proper and right use of their time.
If people fill up their time with should-do's, none of the would-do's or could-do's or why-not-do's that are so valuable to our society, would happen.
I vacuum. Really!!!!
then the people at work should be able to quit and find a less stressfull job that might pay less.
I say bull the SAHM should be held somewhat accountable for what they do and don't get accomplished.
Re: Stay-at-Home Wives: What do you do all day? (What should they do?)
Quote:
Originally Posted by chillymorn
then the people at work should be able to quit and find a less stressfull job that might pay less.
I say bull the SAHM should be held somewhat accountable for what they do and don't get accomplished.
I agree to that to a point. If the H is still meeting his SAHW/SAHM's needs for interaction and treating her well, yes she should absolutely be putting in the effort. If he on the other hand comes home, grabs a beer and disappears until dinner and then disappears until bedtime, then I could see why one wouldn't necessarily care. A LOT of people forget that SAHM's or SAHD's need interaction with people other than their children.
Re: Stay-at-Home Wives: What do you do all day? (What should they do?)
Quote:
Originally Posted by chillymorn
then the people at work should be able to quit and find a less stressfull job that might pay less.
I say bull the SAHM should be held somewhat accountable for what they do and don't get accomplished.
OK, I confess.
I have a part-time job I do from home.
It's in a professional capacity.
Also, I do things that offset the lost income from the other 1/2 time I want to have free. I volunteer, and this comes with perks I'd have to earn money to pay for.
I also cook from scratch, and garden, and hang my laundry out.
I am also a full-time student and a writer.
LOL.
But I am a SINGLE SAHM so it's MY BUSINESS WHAT I DO.
If I guy marries me, then he has no right to tell me what to do.
I can pay my own bills and earn my own keep.
So nope, sorry, not accountable to nobody. Cept me and my kids.
And when I was MARRIED, even though I stayed home, I still paid my own way, in addition to scrubbing the potty my H cr*apped in, washing his clothes, managing his errands and paperwork when asked, etc.
We are not married any more because any time I wasn't working and did something for myself, like WENT TO THE GYM, I was accused of having a BOYFRIEND. Ick, I don't need that kind of assessment on how I would choose to spend my free time.
I hate people who try to control other people. If you choose to have a SAHM in your family, it's better to be cool with that idea, not to have some sort of idea that the person is a hired hand.
Re: Stay-at-Home Wives: What do you do all day? (What should they do?)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Homemaker_Numero_Uno
OK, I confess.
I have a part-time job I do from home.
It's in a professional capacity.
Also, I do things that offset the lost income from the other 1/2 time I want to have free. I volunteer, and this comes with perks I'd have to earn money to pay for.
I also cook from scratch, and garden, and hang my laundry out.
I am also a full-time student and a writer.
LOL.
But I am a SINGLE SAHM so it's MY BUSINESS WHAT I DO.
If I guy marries me, then he has no right to tell me what to do.
I can pay my own bills and earn my own keep.
So nope, sorry, not accountable to nobody. Cept me and my kids.
And when I was MARRIED, even though I stayed home, I still paid my own way, in addition to scrubbing the potty my H cr*apped in, washing his clothes, managing his errands and paperwork when asked, etc.
your accountable to your self and are making a huge effort which I could not see any man worth his weight in salt complaining about because you have high standards for your self.
my comments were for someone who isn't motavated to pull their own weight.
Re: Stay-at-Home Wives: What do you do all day? (What should they do?)
It is funny how people can be on the same page but interpret things differently. I guess it is from the different experiences and angles we view things from.
Re: Stay-at-Home Wives: What do you do all day? (What should they do?)
I'm only a SAHM in the summer time (I'm a teacher) and my days consist of laundry (daily), chores, grocery shopping, gardening, daily projects (cleaning out closet, scrubbing floors,etc), cooking dinner, and activities for the kids.
I like to take a break when the little one naps, because, well, I need a break too! But I try to work just as long as Hubs works...just how i do it.
During my work time, I come home, rest for an hour, then do chores, laundry and make dinner. It works well. I finish working when hubs gets home. We eat together and then hang out for a couple hours before bed
Re: Stay-at-Home Wives: What do you do all day? (What should they do?)
Quote:
Originally Posted by that_girl
I'm only a SAHM in the summer time (I'm a teacher) and my days consist of laundry (daily), chores, grocery shopping, gardening, daily projects (cleaning out closet, scrubbing floors,etc), cooking dinner, and activities for the kids.
I like to take a break when the little one naps, because, well, I need a break too! But I try to work just as long as Hubs works...just how i do it.
Nice. but you left out the most important chore..........keeping the lust for your husband!
Re: Stay-at-Home Wives: What do you do all day? (What should they do?)
Quote:
Originally Posted by chillymorn
Nice. but you left out the most important chore..........keeping the lust for your husband!
which from your posts I know you do very well.
Well, I don't consider that work or a chore! He's just soooo damn sexy.
He's gained about 15 pounds since moving home (cause I cook awesome food) and his belly is SOOOO damn SEXY! OMG! He hates it, but dayum...I don't want him to lose it. LOL!
Aww...I've got the flu and he's at work. He wouldn't come near me last night as I coughed up my lungs. LOL so selfish of him! hahahaha....nah...i just hate being sick...means we can't have sexy time.
Re: Stay-at-Home Wives: What do you do all day? (What should they do?)
Quote:
Originally Posted by that_girl
One could think I'm on the internet doing nothing all day.
Truth is, sometimes y'all are in the kitchen with me as I clean and cook. Or you're on my washer as I fold clothes.
I'm a social person. I would die if I was stuck in this house all day with 2 kids and a dog.
omg.
I'm on here alot now too. I don't know why! My husband just started awhile ago working away on site for 3 weeks at a time. I still go out and socialise and see friends or talk on the phone but I log on here everyday. It's kind of like a social network to offer advice and receive some from an impartial point of view. You get to recognise different user names even though you have no idea who anyone really is but you become fond of some people lol. I'm waiting for the "I'm addicted to TAM" threads!!
Re: Stay-at-Home Wives: What do you do all day? (What should they do?)
Quote:
Originally Posted by sisters359
But I was more in need of intellectual stimulation
I never really felt this way in near 22 yrs of staying home , though I have had side jobs throughout all of these years.. also, I would talk to friends on the phone during the day, listen to talk radio, read books, loved to go outside lay in the hammock under a tree, peace & quiet -while the kids played nearby , or on a blanket , a # of books by my side to explore. I belonged to a local "Mops group" that I went to twice a month for 13 yrs , would do lunch with a friend every so often.......& when I got the net, I discovered forums !! Tons of stimulation there..... started out on Parenting forums, then c-section , Christian, health boards, etc etc
Quote:
Originally Posted by chillymorn
just like moms liking when the husband helps with chores the husband likes when the wife starts helping with earning money.
Me & my husband feel differently- I know this is very odd, but he could care less about any extra $$ -he worries about me driving on the country wintery roads -plus I am very very frugal....we are not hurting..... and I don't want him helping me with any of my stuff -unless I am sick -because frankly, I have WAY more energy than him & the last thing I want is for him to get tired & not have enough Testosterone for sex that night! That would tick me off.
About a month ago, we had a little scuffle over him thinking I never sleep. He jokes I need a job to wear me out... but he loves me being home.
Re: Stay-at-Home Wives: What do you do all day? (What should they do?)
Quote:
Originally Posted by SimplyAmorous
I never really felt this way in near 22 yrs of staying home , though I have had side jobs throughout all of these years.. also, I would talk to friends on the phone during the day, listen to talk radio, read books, loved to go outside lay in the hammock under a tree, peace & quiet -while the kids played nearby , or on a blanket , a # of books by my side to explore. I belonged to a local "Mops group" that I went to twice a month for 13 yrs , would do lunch with a friend every so often.......& when I got the net, I discovered forums !! Tons of stimulation there..... started out on Parenting forums, then c-section , Christian, health boards, etc etc
Me & my husband feel differently- I know this is very odd, but he could care less about any extra $$ -he worries about me driving on the country wintery roads -plus I am very very frugal....we are not hurting..... and I don't want him helping me with any of my stuff -unless I am sick -because frankly, I have WAY more energy than him & the last thing I want is for him to get tired & not have enough Testosterone for sex that night! That would tick me off.
About a month ago, we had a little scuffle over him thinking I never sleep. He jokes I need a job to wear me out... but he loves me being home.
maybe there alittle truth to his joke?
but if I made piles of money i wouldn't care if she worked or not. but I just an average joe with an above average ..........
Re: Stay-at-Home Wives: What do you do all day? (What should they do?)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Gratitude
I'm on here alot now too. I don't know why! My husband just started awhile ago working away on site for 3 weeks at a time. I still go out and socialise and see friends or talk on the phone but I log on here everyday. It's kind of like a social network to offer advice and receive some from an impartial point of view. You get to recognise different user names even though you have no idea who anyone really is but you become fond of some people lol. I'm waiting for the "I'm addicted to TAM" threads!!
I have been addicted for over 2 yrs now -it really is quite rediculous, even if I go on a vacation, I feel like I am having TAM withdrawl.... late at night, I have to go check & see what new questions are on here... .. I always did have a thing for the question/ answer type atmosphere-loved that in books also....
Getting feedback is exciting, I always loved it when I had a question on other forums and I so very much enjoy answering others. It doesn't interfere with my life, my husband is not complaining , so I keep on.
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Re: Stay-at-Home Wives: What do you do all day? (What should they do?) 
It works well. I finish working when hubs gets home. We eat together and then hang out for a couple hours before bed 
