Stay-at-Home Wives: What do you do all day? (What should they do?) - Page 7 - Talk About Marriage
General Relationship Discussion Although anyone can post anywhere on Talk About Marriage, this section is for people interested in general relationship and marriage advice.

User Tag List

LinkBack Thread Tools Search this Thread
post #91 of 136 (permalink) Old 02-27-2012, 09:29 AM Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 53
Re: Stay-at-Home Wives: What do you do all day? (What should they do?)

I didn't say that my SAH work is more demanding than what my husband does. I just wonder why you assume the opposite.

I don't have my husband do "the routine" in the morning. He does some things in the morning. I make sure the boys are dressed and I pack their lunches. He has HOURS of time in the morning. He doesn't leave the house until 9:30. He doesn't even start getting ready for work until after the children have left for school. So, him helping see to them having their coats and book bags is no hardship to him at all. Pouring bowls of cereal while he pours his own is no hardship at all.

There's no reason why he can't do these things. There's no reason why he should not. Both parents should be involved in these mundane things to at least some extent.

SomeLady is offline  
Sponsored Links
post #92 of 136 (permalink) Old 02-27-2012, 09:36 AM
zaliblue's Avatar
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: La La Land:)
Posts: 62
Re: Stay-at-Home Wives: What do you do all day? (What should they do?)

uh, think that this post has opened those door so that all SAHM's are now considered to just have all of this free time. WHATEVER! I have a two year old and a one year old. I am in school, doing my work, cleaning, laundry (which I may add is a heck of a lot when you have 2 kids this young), cooking, changing diapers, cleaning bottles, doing errands, taking care of our pet....and I am sure I've left a few things out I feel that I do a lot, so I expect my hubby to help with the kids when he gets home. He usually will take care of the bath time routine for the kids and get them ready for bed...which i appreciate so much. I just can not stand to hear this 1950's scenario that since the man works, all household/kids/pretty much everything in the world has to be left for the wife. I work hard around here and I feel like I deserve a break as well!
zaliblue is offline  
post #93 of 136 (permalink) Old 02-27-2012, 09:47 AM
Join Date: Dec 2011
Posts: 516
Re: Stay-at-Home Wives: What do you do all day? (What should they do?)

I see how demanding white collar work can be, since that's all I have ever done. I am sure your work is hard, too. I was just getting the idea you thought your work was so hard and his was not. Maybe I read your tone wrong.

If he doesn't leave until 9:30, I agree. Most people I know who work have to be at work by 8 (including me) so that's why I said that. Maybe 8 am is just the work start time on my part of the country. I find helping out with kids in the morning hard if one has a long commute and has to be at work early.
Posted via Mobile Device
tennisstar is offline  
post #94 of 136 (permalink) Old 02-27-2012, 11:02 AM Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 53
Re: Stay-at-Home Wives: What do you do all day? (What should they do?)

If he had to leave before 8am, I wouldn't expect anything of him other than trying not to get in the way of the morning stampede! LOL

My husband's job isn't physically demanding, but it's stressful. That's definitely tiring.
SomeLady is offline  
post #95 of 136 (permalink) Old 03-18-2014, 05:09 PM
Registered User
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 1
Re: Stay-at-Home Wives: What do you do all day? (What should they do?)

Hi am about to get married and my fiancé got a promotion that requires him to move to another city. Now my job that am currently on I can always get a transfer but my fiancé wants me to be a stay at home wife.

He has 2 kids and I have 1 and none of them will be living with us so really I have no kids to take care of just house chores I guess and cooking.

Is there anyone out there that is just a stay at home wife I want to know what it is like, am a bit nervous to leave my well paying job and let our finances fall totally on my husband-to-be because even though the kids aren't with us we still have to send money for them to be taken care of.
ShevetteSears is offline  
post #96 of 136 (permalink) Old 03-18-2014, 05:17 PM
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: Michigan
Posts: 5,022
Re: Stay-at-Home Wives: What do you do all day? (What should they do?)

Lately I have been on TAM way to much but seriously I get all my work and errands done during the day so I am rested in the evening for my sweetie and the kids (sometimes not so sweet). I do cook a nice dinner every day,read a lot of nonfiction books, jog, garden (in the summer) and raise chickens (no laughing) for meat and eggs. It is a very important role I feel that is overlooked (the SAHM, not chicken raising )
over20 is offline  
post #97 of 136 (permalink) Old 03-18-2014, 06:27 PM
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 32
Re: Stay-at-Home Wives: What do you do all day? (What should they do?)

Not me. I'm up at 5:30 getting first kid ready for school make lunch so she can be on bus then get my other child up at 7:00 to do the same. Once they are out So am I. The time to myself is the gym. Once I'm done with that.. It's errands and laundry and cleaning and appointments.. then next thing you know it's 3:00 and I have to start my day with kids. Homework, religion, sports, meetings, school events finish making dinner. Games, studying help .. by the time I sit down… I'm done. until 5:30am again!

PS… I do it all btw. and in the beginning of our marriage.. I also had my Stepson over. I was never without kids since being married.

Last edited by Nextlife; 03-19-2014 at 07:18 AM.
Nextlife is offline  
post #98 of 136 (permalink) Old 03-18-2014, 06:31 PM
frusdil's Avatar
Join Date: Sep 2013
Posts: 1,942
Re: Stay-at-Home Wives: What do you do all day? (What should they do?)

I am a stay at home mum/wife. I'm a stepmum to my hubby's gorgeous 9 year old daughter who is with us 50% (sometimes more) of the time. Her mum has a new boyfriend so she is spending a bit more time with us at the moment.

I worked full time for over 20 years. I will never do that again. I LOVE being home and I'm so grateful that my husband allows me to do it.

I do pretty much everything inside - laundry, cooking, cleaning, make lunches, school run, errands, grocery shopping, look after the animals...I also run a dog rescue so I'm pretty busy.

I don't expect my hubby to do anything other than little things - if the toilet roll runs out change it, if the soap dispenser is empty fill it up, rinse his plate and put it in the dishwasher type stuff. He also carries the basket of clean washing up the stairs for me because my balance is a bit off

My life is very easy and I have nothing to complain about.

However, if I had babies/small children to care for all day, I would expect the division of labour to change...he'd have to do more...
frusdil is offline  
post #99 of 136 (permalink) Old 03-18-2014, 08:22 PM
Join Date: Nov 2013
Posts: 119
Re: Stay-at-Home Wives: What do you do all day? (What should they do?)

I think SAHM or SAHW jobs are easier than work outside of house. My H said right away that laundry, dishes and cooking, bill paying isn't going to cut it. He has high demands from me, I on my days off work restore the house, he bought a fixer upper (2 story aprx 2000 sq/f), 2 years in and we are almost done, and that's holding full time and part time jobs. We don't have kids but instead I do demo/drywall/paint/tiling/floors/exterior tile removal/exterior paint and so on. He does carpentry/pluming/electrical

We also have separate finances, I pay bills, he does insurances and taxes. Comes out to be the same.

I often wonder how many other women would restore a house that isn't on their name, it sure proves I didn't marry him for the money or green card (I am European).

I sure feel for the stay at home people because you do work and don't get paid (in money) if something happens it is like you shoot yourself in a foot. But then again it is easier living.

I am postponing and postponing having kids, it is harder than any construction I have done and you are stuck, no way back or out. It is scary really, I can put a drill away but when you have a kid it is 24/7..
Feeling-Lonely is offline  
post #100 of 136 (permalink) Old 03-19-2014, 07:04 AM
breeze's Avatar
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 1,991
Re: Stay-at-Home Wives: What do you do all day? (What should they do?)

When I was a SAHM I was pretty much doing everything around the house. I'd have some me time during the day, but mostly just 10 min here and 10 there, in between watching kids, dropping off, picking up, chores, volunteering at kindy, play dates etc, it was only the odd day here and there where I'd spend a solid hour or more doing something just for me, like reading. I certainly socialised more, but generally it had a dual purpose of finding playmates for the kids, and half the time I was thinking about how much I wasn't able to get done at home because I was out.

My Mum looked after my boy while he was sick and I had to work and I thought it was funny when she complained that she wasn't able to get anything done those days. I don't know why, but my boy just couldn't/can't amuse himself; someone always has to be playing with him.

My house may not have been spotless, but my kids had me at home and I'm happy with that. Now I just work during school hours mostly, and that's good too. House is a mess though! lol

To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
Books that helped me:
"Getting the Love You Want" by H. Hendrix
"His Needs, Her Needs" by W. Harley
breeze is offline  
post #101 of 136 (permalink) Old 03-20-2014, 02:38 PM
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 135
Re: Stay-at-Home Wives: What do you do all day? (What should they do?)

Just for today, I am going to sit down and have one beer. My daughter took off her clothes while playing outside, then took a dump, then seemingly rolled in the turd, then ran inside crying. One beer, then I will steam the carpet. LOL
StayInIt is offline  
post #102 of 136 (permalink) Old 03-20-2014, 02:58 PM
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 281
Re: Stay-at-Home Wives: What do you do all day? (What should they do?)

I'm just going to say that I look down on spouses who stay at home yet do nothing but goof off. Such behavior is lazy and selfish.

If you do not work outside the home, you need to be working inside the home. Full stop.

My husband and I have decided not to have children. During the times that I was a student or looking for work, I made sure our place was clean, our laundry was done and I had dinner on the table EVERY NIGHT. It was my way of pulling my weight and thanking my husband for supporting us.

I will be working full time again soon, so the housework will be divided more evenly.
CharlotteMcdougall is offline  
post #103 of 136 (permalink) Old 03-20-2014, 04:28 PM
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 1,112
Re: Stay-at-Home Wives: What do you do all day? (What should they do?)

I was a SAHM from when my first was born until my younger one started kindy. I tend towards workaholism, so I was always super busy.

A typical day was breakfast and playtime, outdoors a LOT, errands like grocery shopping, lunch, household chores, lots more play, lots more cleaning (sweep or vacuum daily, mop weekly, dust every other day, bathrooms every week, laundry pretty much every day, dishes 3 times a day, windows, walls, clean toys, and all of the outside chores except mowing the lawn. That was the ONLY thing my husband did. I fixed everything inside and out, and did all of the major and minor repairs. I told you I'm a workaholic!)

What else... lessons for the kids too, playdates, dinner every night, nap time, bedtime, diapers, teeth, there's so much to childcare. Lots and lots of play time. Sewing.

Here's the problem though: we spent 8 years with me doing EVERYTHING (oh, and not sleeping through the night for 8 years too. I nursed the little one until she was almost 4, including nighttime nursing), and now that I'm working full-time AND taking classes, I STILL do all of the chores (except mowing the lawn!).

My life isn't actually that much different, because the hours that the kids are in school are the hours I'm working, and when they're home I'm doing the cleaning/homework duty/childcare/cooking. They require less from me now that they're older, but the class and dogs have taken up that extra time.

Now, if I were a SAHM when the kids were in school, I'd LOVE it. I could have a hobby!! I could exercise! My showers would last more than 3 1/2 minutes! It's my dream, to somehow get a year off while the kids are in school. Oh, or I guess my husband could pick up some of the slack so I could at least exercise. But, I think I wouldn't be here if that were happening...
northernlights is offline  
post #104 of 136 (permalink) Old 03-20-2014, 04:47 PM
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 41
Re: Stay-at-Home Wives: What do you do all day? (What should they do?)

I laugh at people who say being a SAHM is the "hardest job in the world". Nothing but an empty phrase women and their loyal white knight followers use to validate themselves.

Here is what most SAHM's do:

Wake up at 11:00 AM - Child(ren) already got themselves ready for school and got picked up by the schoolbus about 3-4 hours ago.

12:00 PM - 1:00 AM - Watch your favorite soap opera

1:00-2:30 PM - Go to gym or meet your boyfriend because since your husband works his ass off from 5:00 AM to 8:00 PM to make sure everyone has the good life you feel neglected.

2:30-5:00 PM - Kids get home. Hands them a lunchable and go back to watching more TV or sitting on the computer.

6:00-7:00 PM - Throw in a stouffers or marie calenders precooked meal because you've had such an exhausting day that you don't feel like cooking.

8:00 PM - Husband comes home, tell him how lucky he is to get out of the house. Make sure to inform him how he never helps out, and how you do everything. Your life is so hard.

9:00 PM - Go to bed. Deny husband sex.

11:00 AM - Repeat.
Redpill is offline  
post #105 of 136 (permalink) Old 03-20-2014, 05:08 PM
NobodySpecial's Avatar
Join Date: Nov 2013
Posts: 5,108
Re: Stay-at-Home Wives: What do you do all day? (What should they do?)

Originally Posted by SomeLady View Post
I've been thinking a lot, lately, about how little I do all day as a SAHM. I do some housework, and I make sure the kids don't burn the house down. Mostly, though, I goof around on the Internet.

This doesn't seem right to me. I feel like I should be doing more. Shouldn't I be working as if I were at a job? What job lets you goof off on the computer?

And, assuming a SAHM does all the housework possible during the day so that very little needs to be done on weekends and evenings, should there be an even division of labor? I sometimes think so. But, I also wonder if the reason I spend a couple of hours on the computer in the morning after everybody has left for the day isn't because I was doing all the stuff you do to get kids ready for school. Then, too, I also cook dinner and clean up afterwards. (H does the bedtime routine. I insist on this. I tell him it's because he should have that special daddy time with the kids. But, it's also because by that time, I'm pretty much ready to not deal with the kids any more for the day!)

I'm trying to be a better wife. Better housekeeping is part of that. So, I've been thinking about these things and I wondered what other people thought. is a good resource.
NobodySpecial is offline  
Sponsored Links

Quick Reply

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on Talk About Marriage, you must first register. Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.

Important! Your username will be visible to the public next to anything you post and could show up in search engines like Google. If you are concerned about anonymity, PLEASE choose a username that will not be recognizable to anyone you know.

User Name:
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.


Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.

Email Address:


Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
would you stay home and have a maid? dave2625 Financial Problems in Marriage 66 12-13-2012 06:32 PM
How can a stay at home dad man up? lostdad The Men's Clubhouse 20 05-16-2011 11:16 AM
Stay at home dad getting left need help lostdad Going Through Divorce or Separation 11 04-03-2011 07:41 PM
You would think a stay at home mom? gregj123 The Men's Clubhouse 58 01-17-2011 02:42 PM
stay at home mum humpty dumpty The Family & Parenting Forums 12 02-14-2009 05:02 AM

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome