Livebug

Hi, Im a 27 year old woman.. who got married 3.5 years ago.
Everything was great, but lately....

It feels like i dont know him anymore. He yells at me so easily, always makes excuses for the smallest of things and theres no ownership when he does something wrong. We discuss and argue about it a thousand times and he says he'll change but always goes back to old ways. I ask him to talk about things... tell me.. instead of bottling things up... but its still the same.

I really dont know what to do... i feel so lost.

We disconnected our cable recently and he loves his sport, but has become obsessed with checking up scores and news on his phone. So much so that he hardly speaks to me when we get home plus it interferes with our time.

He embarrassed me infront of my family while watching a game, and when i confronted him twice about it he continued to do it.
To make matters worst he said if we have a child and the child supports the opposing team he likes - he will abort the baby(INFRONT OF MY FAMILY AND FRIENDS).

I was so hurt by this - why should an innocent unborn child be brought into such arguments. Isnt there a limit?

How do you stay in a marriage that never gets better? How do you stay in a marriage were everything seems like a one sided effort?


Tired.

that_girl

Your husband is a moron.

He will know if an unborn baby likes the opposing team and then he'll abort it? LOL What an idiot. It's just so stupid on so many levels. I don't think you need to worry about that.

However, his emotional abuse is not ok. You have talked to him about it and he isn't changing...he knows the problem but won't change...so you have your answer. He's not changing.

Now, what will you do?

__________________

Livebug

haha - i dont think it was meant in the sense that when the baby is not born. but obviously when the child is much bigger and supports an oppsoing team he wishes it would of been aborted. i just dont feel the need for a child to be judged on such silly things. Isnt that abit harsh? how would u feel about bringing someone into this world.. if this is the answers u get.

I think you right! I do know what to do...

Gratitude

I'm guessing he meant that as a joke, it was just in very bad taste?

If you've discussed things that need changing, and he's agreed but hasn't changed, he just might not. Is he just saying he will to appease you?

Not saying this is you but just an opinion - because I'm really not sure what your issues are to go on and what you argue about and how you fight - but sometimes we need to look at ourselves and how we communicate. Sometimes we get so fed up with our spouse that we tend to overlook the way we might be coming across too.

__________________
Bears play fighting at the Romanian bear sanctuary
© WSPA

that_girl

It is harsh. And it could happen that he'd not want to hang out with a son who has his own brain.

Parents disown children all the time for stupid reasons.

All I'm saying is that he sounds like an abusive moron. AND it's NO ONE that I'd want to have children with. Dear god, no.

__________________

Livebug

I hope so.. i am really looking forward to having a family - but not when things are like this and until we both move forward from this.

I think u hit the nail on the had GRATITUDE, he probably is doing this to appease me. But why on earth if you love someone will you not want to make your relationship a better one?

We argue! But its not were we cant stand each other.. i am all about learning to grow and become a better individual. And i appreciate feedback from him. But he never speaks his mind just vents his anger and yells.

Gratitude

Do you think any parent would disown their child for supporting an opposing team?? I know some people are fanatical about sports (my husband is mad for his AFL team) but surely he meant it as a joke? Not defending him as a person I'm just not sure he was serious about it or meant to actually bring 'a child into it'.

I could be completely wrong he could be a total idiot I don't know him personally so it's hard to judge these things sometimes.

__________________
Bears play fighting at the Romanian bear sanctuary
© WSPA

Gratitude

If you bang on about something long enough eventually he'll just say what you want to hear to get you to stop.

He may not see a problem where you do.

The problem seems to be communication. He doesn't do it well. Don't stand for yelling and screaming. Calmly tell him you don't want to talk to him until he can speak to you like a mature adult in a civilised manner. Why is he so angry all the time? Work stresses? Any addictions etc? Just wondering if there are any underlying issues or if it is just the way he communicates.

__________________
Bears play fighting at the Romanian bear sanctuary
© WSPA

that_girl

I've known parents to disown because of political party. What's to say he wouldn't be a jerk to your child because of a sports team?

lol. So silly to me. We aren't a sports family.

__________________