General Relationship DiscussionAlthough anyone can post anywhere on Talk About Marriage, this section is for people interested in general relationship and marriage advice.
Re: Would you date a person who's been divorced 3 or more times ???
Nothing would change my opinion. Anyone willing to fall for this guy/woman could only be desperate and does not know OR love themselves. There are enough warning signs that you are ignoring, as desperate people always ignore the signs. The first one you are ignoring is.......
has been divorced over 3 times
The second one you are ignoring is.......
just didn't meet his high expectations and made dumb financial decisions
I hope you don't expect he will tell the truth about the divorce. No one ever tells the truth about their former relationships. It's always the other person's fault. Plus, he is telling you he's more demanding than ANYONE can live up to.
And the third thing you are ignoring is.......
10 years to the first one and 4 months (or so) to the second one....
10 years to the last one
What makes you even consider this guy? Are you that desperate?
Re: Would you date a person who's been divorced 3 or more times ???
Sorry, was writing before I saw the last comments.
My opinion still doesn't change though, but you are mistaken to think there are no desperate women out there.
Re: Would you date a person who's been divorced 3 or more times ???
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jellybeans
Well if you are his ex, stop worrying about him. Live and let live. Posted via Mobile Device
Dumb thing is....I still love him....
He's not a bad person, is just going through a lot of sh*t (PTSD, MLC, medical issues like liver failure, high testosterone etc., depression) and feels like he can only be happy and healthy again without me.....
I admit I've made many mistakes in our marriage and am working on getting my life in order, but he doesn't trust that...
He told me he actually went out for lunch with someone else and when he told her his history she said "No thanks" and I was wondering what others would say.....
We were trying to reconcile since January last year (had an unplanned baby in December 2011), but resentment and too little change from me made this a failed attempt.....
We're seperating now but I'm hoping that after some time he will realize that I have changed and am the woman I should have been.....
He's not a bad person, is just going through a lot of sh*t (PTSD, MLC, medical issues like liver failure, high testosterone etc., depression) and feels like he can only be happy and healthy again without me.....
I admit I've made many mistakes in our marriage and am working on getting my life in order, but he doesn't trust that...
He told me he actually went out for lunch with someone else and when he told her his history she said "No thanks" and I was wondering what others would say.....
We were trying to reconcile since January last year (had an unplanned baby in December 2011), but resentment and too little change from me made this a failed attempt.....
We're seperating now but I'm hoping that after some time he will realize that I have changed and am the woman I should have been.....
I guess my question to you would be why do you have to do all the changing? You've acknowledged your mistakes and you're working on them but what is he doing differently?
I'm a bs who would admittedly take my disloyal back BUT not under any circumstances. I've made changes and will continue to do so but it takes two. You can't do all the changing and he does nothing. Posted via Mobile Device
Re: Would you date a person who's been divorced 3 or more times ???
So this is really about you not wanting him to meet anyone so he can end up w you. January 2011 was a long time ago. It sounds like he strung you along and you got pregnant in the process.Let him go. Posted via Mobile Device
Re: Would you date a person who's been divorced 3 or more times ???
Quote:
Originally Posted by Crankshaw
ummm, I would be wanting to know why 3 times, I am looking at divorce #2 very soon (the sooner the better !)
Crank, my love
# 1....she spent all his re-enlistment bonus (one $ 15000 and one $ 20000) while he was gone, totaled his car, etc.....he was young and she was 13 years older and abusive (not just his story, but all of his family tell the same)
# 2....same woman as # 1....she married him the first time under a false name....she's a convicted fellon....and he made the mistake to divorce her and marry her again under her real name....young and dumb at the time....
So ex 1 & 2 are the same person....
# 3.....married for 4 months (if I remember correctly) and got the marriage anulled because he learned that the first divorce (# 1&2) hasn't been final yet....plus she turned out to be controlling and he didn't want to deal with that kinda stuff
# 4....me....I've made a big chunk of debt (thankfully we have seperate accounts and I didn't use his money, but could never contribute to expenses like utilities etc....
I've not taken the opportunity to better myself academically and jobwise which would have been free through the military....
I took him for granted (his words, but I agree)
I let myself go....
He hit a MLC and FB "helped" him distance himself from me further....
We've made the pact that if one ever feels like they wanna be with someone else to end US before starting something else, and I guess that's what he did (EA)....
Re: Would you date a person who's been divorced 3 or more times ???
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jellybeans
So this is really about you not wanting him to meet anyone so he can end up w you.
Yes, pretty much
January 2011 was a long time ago. It sounds like he strung you along and you got pregnant in the process.Let him go.
My friends (like Crankshaw) would be able to tell you that he most likely DID try to reconcile, but my resentment and hormonal mess didn't make it easy for him at all and he gave up
Re: Would you date a person who's been divorced 3 or more times ???
Quote:
Originally Posted by marksaysay
I guess my question to you would be why do you have to do all the changing? You've acknowledged your mistakes and you're working on them but what is he doing differently?
I'm a bs who would admittedly take my disloyal back BUT not under any circumstances. I've made changes and will continue to do so but it takes two. You can't do all the changing and he does nothing. Posted via Mobile Device
I agree....I shouldn't be doing all the changing, but I have no control over his behavior...only over mine....
And who knows.....in a year and after a lot of changes on my part, if he'd want to try again, I might not like him all that much anymore.....
But it feels good to know that he might not have it so easy to move on
11Likes
Re: Would you date a person who's been divorced 3 or more times ??? 
