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Would you date a person who's been divorced 3 or more times ???

6K views 44 replies 24 participants last post by  mag000 
#1 ·
This person is very good looking and sexy, but has been divorced over 3 times and has 3 young children....

What's your opinion on this ???
 
#9 ·
The last one has definitely never been cheating, was never abusive...just didn't meet his high expectations and made dumb financial decisions....
 
#16 ·
I'm ex-wife # 3, Jelly !!!

I was wondering what chances he has in the dating world....

Sounds awful, but I hope all women will think like this and that he will hit rock bottom and realize the grass wasn't greener....
 
#22 ·
Dumb thing is....I still love him....

He's not a bad person, is just going through a lot of sh*t (PTSD, MLC, medical issues like liver failure, high testosterone etc., depression) and feels like he can only be happy and healthy again without me.....

I admit I've made many mistakes in our marriage and am working on getting my life in order, but he doesn't trust that...

He told me he actually went out for lunch with someone else and when he told her his history she said "No thanks" and I was wondering what others would say.....

We were trying to reconcile since January last year (had an unplanned baby in December 2011), but resentment and too little change from me made this a failed attempt.....

We're seperating now but I'm hoping that after some time he will realize that I have changed and am the woman I should have been.....
 
#18 ·
Nothing would change my opinion. Anyone willing to fall for this guy/woman could only be desperate and does not know OR love themselves. There are enough warning signs that you are ignoring, as desperate people always ignore the signs. The first one you are ignoring is.......

has been divorced over 3 times

The second one you are ignoring is.......

just didn't meet his high expectations and made dumb financial decisions

I hope you don't expect he will tell the truth about the divorce. No one ever tells the truth about their former relationships. It's always the other person's fault. Plus, he is telling you he's more demanding than ANYONE can live up to.

And the third thing you are ignoring is.......

10 years to the first one and 4 months (or so) to the second one....

10 years to the last one

What makes you even consider this guy? Are you that desperate?
 
#24 ·
ummm, I would be wanting to know why 3 times, I am looking at divorce #2 very soon (the sooner the better !)
 
#28 ·
Crank, my love :toast:

# 1....she spent all his re-enlistment bonus (one $ 15000 and one $ 20000) while he was gone, totaled his car, etc.....he was young and she was 13 years older and abusive (not just his story, but all of his family tell the same)

# 2....same woman as # 1....she married him the first time under a false name....she's a convicted fellon....and he made the mistake to divorce her and marry her again under her real name....young and dumb at the time....

So ex 1 & 2 are the same person....

# 3.....married for 4 months (if I remember correctly) and got the marriage anulled because he learned that the first divorce (# 1&2) hasn't been final yet....plus she turned out to be controlling and he didn't want to deal with that kinda stuff

# 4....me....I've made a big chunk of debt (thankfully we have seperate accounts and I didn't use his money, but could never contribute to expenses like utilities etc....
I've not taken the opportunity to better myself academically and jobwise which would have been free through the military....
I took him for granted (his words, but I agree)
I let myself go....
He hit a MLC and FB "helped" him distance himself from me further....

We've made the pact that if one ever feels like they wanna be with someone else to end US before starting something else, and I guess that's what he did (EA)....
 
#29 ·
So this is really about you not wanting him to meet anyone so he can end up w you.

Yes, pretty much :rolleyes:



January 2011 was a long time ago. It sounds like he strung you along and you got pregnant in the process.Let him go.

My friends (like Crankshaw) would be able to tell you that he most likely DID try to reconcile, but my resentment and hormonal mess didn't make it easy for him at all and he gave up

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#27 ·
I would be cautious of a such a person. But if I liked them otherwise I'd give them some time while dating casually for some time.

There are good people with 3 divorces because they married the wrong person or because some other issue came along.
 
#34 ·
Rome, it sounds like you want him back but he doesn't feel the same about you. Do not spend your life and waste your years pining over someone who you don't agree on the most basic of things: Whether to be together or not.

It's great you are getting help for yourself. THat shows you want to improve/want to be a better person. Nothing wrong with that.

If you divorce, he may remarry and he may not. It won't be your problem anymore though.

Would I marry someone with 3 divorces personally? I don't know. Probably not. But that is mainly because I have an aversion to marriage these days (no offense to the married folks on here).

There are 7 billion people on the planet and the fact is, you are both likely to meet other people post-divorce. That's just the way it goes. Maybe you both remarry, maybe one does, maybe neither of you do.

His stories about his past marriages seem odd to me. Regarding the second wife (that was really his first wife?) that he married under a "different name"--that seems so strange to me. So did he tell you he didn't know she was the same person as he married before? The point is, he had a choice in the matter and chose to remarry her. The one he married for 4 months--how could he have married her if she was already married and not yet divorced? That is not legal nor is it possible.

It sounds lik ehe blames his exes a lot for his divorces and I haven't seen you mention one thing about him admitting fault in any of his previous failed marriages. That is a red flag. I am wary of anyone who only talks smack about their exes and accepts zero blame/admits to any flaws. I bet if you talked to his exes you'd hear another side.

And yes, he could remarry. You married him knowing he had been married 3x before so it' s possible someone else may marry him knowing the same too.

It's got nothing to do with you. I would get the divorce, file for your child custody/support and be done.

When someone wants to be with you, they will be with you. He's showed for over a year now, he's just not that into you. He wouldn't have been dating other people either if he was really committed to you.

Just saying.



 
#42 ·
Yes, Rome and her ex-H got divorced but remained living together as he told her she could stay and try to reconcile, they lived as married pretty much, sleeping together but no affection or endearment, she got pregnant accidentally, had baby, he was resentful, now he says no reconciling and she needs to move out.
 
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