General Relationship DiscussionAlthough anyone can post anywhere on Talk About Marriage, this section is for people interested in general relationship and marriage advice.
Have women lost respect for men in the last 50 years?
Have women gone overboard in the notion of feminism?
Men, do you feel your wife respects you as the man of the house? Do you believe you are the man of the house? Or do you feel she is overbearing and talks down to you?
Women, do you treat your man like the man of the house? Do you believe he is the leader of your household? If he says yes and you say no, will you do whatever you want anyway, regardless of his word? If he says 'I'm the leader of this household and I'm putting my foot down', would you let him?
Feminism means equality so no I don't think equality is "going too far."
Has the role of the "man" become diminished. Because women can now work and have the equality, does that mean men are no longer the leader of the house? Men used to have the authority in the household. They were the providers, the protectors, the head of the family. Now it's equal. And that's good in some aspects. But has it taken away the man's role and definition?
My husband is not the leader of the household, because we have an equal partnership and take decisions together. I respect him as a human being (and a lovely one at that), and he respects me as a human being too. He's always supported women's rights, this isn't even an issue between us. He has a 20-year old daughter, that makes him even more supportive of feminism. Sure we have our tiffs - we are both quite verbal and independent-minded - but that doesn't alter respect. Nor does it stop the fact that we relate to each other as man and woman, sexually and emotionally. We are not clones of each other, rather, we are complementary. At the moment we are going through some very challenging times, but that's life - we have to face them together.
I went through a stage, in the first few months of marriage (we've been married a year), when I felt disempowered - this is my only marriage, and I am over 40. This caused some tension between us. But I was able to talk to him about my feelings, and he understood and has been supportive - eventually I got over this feeling. In turn, he has shared some of his worries and troubles, and I've tried to be supportive to him. In my view, this kind of openness and support in the face of doubts and insecurities is far more important than having some skewered idea of a man being a household leader.
Has the role of the "man" become diminished. Because women can now work and have the equality, does that mean men are no longer the leader of the house? Men used to have the authority in the household. They were the providers, the protectors, the head of the family. Now it's equal. And that's good in some aspects. But has it taken away the man's role and definition?
It has changed the role of men from that of 'authority' and effectively the sole adult in a household (because women were infantilised) to that of companion, partner and friend: and you know, that's far more important and necessary - and challenging. It takes courage to share responsibility and decision-making, yet remain fully oneself. Men who take to that new role are still men - in evolutionary terms, still 'hunters' to the bone...but they put that masculinity to the service of a partnership, they don't use it to be boss. Alas, some have given up and become irresponsible, while others still long for the bad old days and are control freaks.
My husband works long hours away for us, and lets me handle the money and the decisions. He asks me if he can buy something, or do something first.
He says to my mother and his mother if they try to come in and tell him what to do that he is the leader of the house and it is his decision. He needs to feel that he is the king of his castle, the man of the house, but doesn't act that way by being dominant or giving orders.
I have no problem with men being the king of their castle or the man of the house. Men have for years provided for women and protected them. Women can now do both themselves. But I don't want to take away from a man something that makes him feel worthwhile and respected (some men don't feel this need granted).
I'm not a radical feminist. I want my man to protect me, I can't do it alone. I don't want women playing in our football or commentating (AFL professional). Let the men have something to keep them men! I want to say to my husband 'can you take care of this'. I don't think women need to go do everything a man does. We are different for a reason.
My husband works long hours away for us, and lets me handle the money and the decisions. He asks me if he can buy something, or do something first.
He says to my mother and his mother if they try to come in and tell him what to do that he is the leader of the house and it is his decision. He needs to feel that he is the king of his castle, the man of the house, but doesn't act that way by being dominant or giving orders.
I have no problem with men being the king of their castle or the man of the house. Men have for years provided for women and protected them. Women can now do both themselves. But I don't want to take away from a man something that makes him feel worthwhile and respected (some men don't feel this need granted).
I'm not a radical feminist. I want my man to protect me, I can't do it alone. I don't want women playing football. I want to say to my husband 'can you take care of this'. I don't think women need to go do everything a man does. We are different for a reason.
Yes, my husband is head of the household. I see nothing wrong with that. It doesn't mean he doesn't value me or treats me as I'm beneath him.
As he's said, if there was an emergency or some sort of disaster, he would be the one to take control and protect the rest of the family. What kind of man would he be if he hid behind me? That, he says, is what makes him head of the household.
I'm perfectly happy with the dynamics of our family. My husband and I have different roles, but each is just as important and valued by the other.
Bleah. I always get sh!t for my opinions on the subject, but yes, it's gone too far, IMO. We wanted equality, and we've got it, thanks to all those bra-burners in the 1960's. Are we really any better off?
Yes, it is important to many men to feel they are able to provide for their families. I honour that - and I honour it in my own husband. I like to feel I'm making a cosy home. But I don't feel that changes anything to the partnership, or to the balance of power. We are interdependent, there is no leader/follower paradigm between us. We're both educated professionals, with our own activities and passions. Recently, he's had some work trouble, which has severely cut his income (he's self-employed) - that makes him feel bad, and so I'm being especially supportive, I know he hates the situation. But this pain is not due to his home life: it's due to his work situation. For his sake - and for the knock-on effect it has on our partnership, which has been quite important - I hope he can resolve it.
Yes, it is important to many men to feel they are able to provide for their families. I honour that - and I honour it in my own husband. I like to feel I'm making a cosy home. But I don't feel that changes anything to the partnership, or to the balance of power.
Bleah. I always get sh!t for my opinions on the subject, but yes, it's gone too far, IMO. We wanted equality, and we've got it, thanks to all those bra-burners in the 1960's. Are we really any better off?
For my part, yes! I feel much better off than the women of the 1950s! I am a professional, a free woman, and I am in a happy relationship with a good man. What's not to like?
I am so proud of the women of my mother's generation, who were tireless in obtaining equality. And I honour the men who loved and supported them, as my father did.
Bleah. I always get sh!t for my opinions on the subject, but yes, it's gone too far, IMO. We wanted equality, and we've got it, thanks to all those bra-burners in the 1960's. Are we really any better off?
It's ok when I posted this I was like yep, set yourself up for the firing squad!!! Lol
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Feminism: Has it gone too far? 
