Re: My husband has the hots for another woman
First, I'm sorry to hear about what you're going through. That's got to be an awful feeling. I would say he's a terrible human, worst human being on this planet etc., but sadly I think it's only human. While I would never cheat on my wife, I still look at pictures of attractive women from time to time. I do my best to hide it, and I tell myself as long as I'm only fantasizing and it's not happening all the time (ie damaging to our relationship), it's my little thing. However, I don't have the ideal relationship so what I do might not be normal (nor right). All I'm saying is, don't go into a downward spiral where you think he's a terrible human being - it may be that your husband is the type of guy who, while faithful, has to work through feelings from time to time. Although, checking her horoscope is pretty lame...you should tell him how lame that was hahah (jk don't do that).
As a guy that was caught contacting an old-ex through internet history, yes I can confirm your suspicions that we just become better at hiding what we do. However, what I can tell you from my experience is that, you becoming better and more clever at checking up on him is NOT the solution. You certainly do need to lay down the law, but do so in the way you know he responds best. Some guys don't respond to their wife just giving them hell. On these boards, I read about these great relationships where the husband is still crazy attracted to his wife in his 50s and 60s. The requirement is of course that they have a great relationship. Physically improving on yourself, while that is awesome and I applaud it, is not the whole solution. Just because he isn't paying attention to you does NOT mean that you aren't attractive. It just means you have some stuff to work on in your relationship. He has his responsibility in the relationship, and part of that is thinking with the right head and not fantasizing about someone younger than you. However, like I said above, don't just go in guns ablazing and telling him off. My wife did that and I am very bitter and resentful, even though I know I'm wrong. While I've changed for the better, I still harbor resentment and am working through those feelings towards her.